Don't Hit Me! I'm Eating Biscuits & Gravy Off My Dash
Durable vinyl sticker printed in-house and made for indoor or outdoor use.
✓ Weatherproof, UV-resistant vinyl
✓ Ships in 1–2 business days
✓ Made in-house by our small U.S. team
Description
Don't Hit Me! I'm Eating Biscuits & Gravy Bumper Sticker
Driving requires focus. Unfortunately, so does eating biscuits and gravy directly off your dashboard like a feral interstate breakfast goblin. This bumper sticker politely warns surrounding motorists that you are currently performing an important gravy-based operation and cannot be expected to behave normally.
Featuring “Don't Hit Me! I'm Eating Biscuits & Gravy Off My Dash” alongside a glorious biscuits-and-gravy image, this design is available as a weatherproof vinyl sticker or removable magnet. It's breakfast. It's defensive driving. It's probably a DOT violation.
Funny Bumper Sticker for Gravy-Based Emergencies
Some people put tasteful decals on their cars. Cowards.
This funny sticker is for anyone who understands that a vehicle isn't just transportation. It's a dining room, storage unit, emotional-support chamber, and occasionally a place to eat an alarming amount of sausage gravy while doing 67 mph.
Rectangular designs are approximately 8.5 x 2.5 inches and handmade, so sizing may vary slightly. Mockups are not to scale.
Better yet: Buy 2, Get 1 Free. Add three eligible stickers or magnets to your cart and the lowest-priced one is automatically free—no code needed.
Weatherproof Sticker Built for Highway Nonsense
Your breakfast may be structurally compromised, but your bumper sticker shouldn't be.
Made from premium all-weather vinyl, this weatherproof sticker is waterproof, smudge-proof, fade-resistant, and car-wash safe when properly applied. Frog Mustard's outdoor-rated vinyl is built for cars, coolers, laptops, and other smooth surfaces.
For best results, clean the surface with water, dry it completely, and apply to a smooth, glossy, non-textured surface. Press from the center outward to reduce bubbles. Weird plastics, textured surfaces, wax, dirt, and other adhesion goblins can reduce longevity.
Car Magnet for the Commitment-Averse
Want the chaos without permanent commitment? Choose the car magnet version.
Standard magnets are 20 mil thick, while extra-thick 30 mil magnets are available and recommended for colder climates or aggressive winds. Test your vehicle first: magnets stick to magnetic metal, not plastic, and many modern bumpers are plastic. Doors, trunks, and side panels may be better options.
Remove magnets before car washes or extreme weather for maximum longevity.
Your Dashboard Diner Deserves This
Every Frog Mustard bumper sticker is original, handmade, and created for humor and novelty. Orders ship from Washington in 1–3 business days, with worldwide shipping available.
Stick it on your car. Slap the magnet on your trunk. Go find a questionable diner.
Just keep both hands on the wheel until the gravy situation is under control.
Not sure where to start? Our bestselling stickers are the ones people can’t stop buying or arguing about in traffic.
Want to make sure your sticker actually sticks and lasts? Check out our full sticker guide for placement, surfaces, and longevity.
For new drops, chaotic ideas, and stickers in the wild, follow us on Instagram—we post the good stuff there first.
Size, Materials & Care
For best results, please review and follow the full care and application instructions included with your order and available on our FAQ page here.
Sizing
- Rectangular bumper stickers are approximately 8.5 × 2.5 inches.
- Die-cut stickers and magnets are typically 3–4 inches.
- Sizing may vary slightly, especially on hand-cut magnet materials.
- Mockup images are not to scale and may appear larger for visibility.
Materials
- Made with premium all-weather vinyl.
- Stickers are waterproof, smudge-proof, fade-resistant and car-wash safe when properly applied.
- Designed for outdoor use on smooth, clean, glossy surfaces.
- Apocalypse-resistant, within reason.
Magnets
- Standard magnets are 20 mil thick.
- 30 mil extra-thick magnets are available and recommended for colder climates.
- Magnets only stick to magnetic metal surfaces.
- Many modern bumpers are plastic, so please test your vehicle before ordering.
- Try your trunk, doors or side panels if your bumper is not magnetic.
Basic Care & Application
- Apply only to a clean, dry, smooth, glossy surface.
- Clean the surface thoroughly before applying and allow it to dry completely.
- Avoid textured, plastic, rubberized, dirty, dusty, waxy or low-surface-energy surfaces.
- For best results, apply in mild temperatures and press firmly across the full design.
- Do not apply below 45°F.
- Wait 24–48 hours before washing your car after applying a sticker so the adhesive can bond.
- Remove magnets before car washes or extreme weather, including snow and high winds.
- Clean beneath magnets periodically to prevent trapped dirt or debris from affecting your paint.
Important Surface Disclaimer
Frog Mustard products work best on glossy, smooth, clean and dry surfaces. Many coolers, kayaks, vehicle cladding and similar items are made with low-surface-energy plastics, which can make it difficult for adhesives to bond—even when using premium vinyl.
We cannot offer refunds for poor application, failed adhesion on textured, plastic, dirty or otherwise incompatible surfaces, or magnet incompatibility with non-magnetic vehicle panels. Please message us before applying or purchasing if you are unsure whether your surface is compatible.