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Speeding into the Loving Arms of Christ
ā Waterproof, UV-proof vinyl
ā Ships in 1ā2 business days
ā Orders with 4+ magnets automatically upgraded to parcel tracking
Made in-house by our small U.S. team ā no dropshipping, no mystery warehouse.
Description
Ā
"SPEEDING INTO THE LOVING ARMS OF CHRIST" ā The Ultimate Jesus Bumper Sticker šš
Listen up, highway heretics. You thought you were just out here breaking speed limits? Nah. Youāre on the fast track to salvation. If youāre gonna send it, might as well send it directly into the Lordās embrace. This jesus bumper sticker is here to let tailgaters know that youāre not just drivingāyouāre ascending.
THIS JESUS BUMPER STICKER LETS EVERYONE KNOW YOU DRIVE WITH DIVINE PURPOSE āļø
You donāt need a GPS when youāve got faith. Your speedometer? Irrelevant. Your passenger? Jesus, take the wheel. This sticker? Your highway testimony.
š WHY YOU NEED THIS JESUS BUMPER STICKER:
ā
Premium weatherproof vinyl ā Built tougher than your Sunday morning excuses. šš„
ā
UV & water-resistant ā Unlike your faith, this one wonāt fade.āļøš
ā
Bold, high-visibility design ā Because sinners in the rearview need to see the light.
ā
Strong adhesive backing ā Sticks better than a sermon that hits home.š„
ā
Easy removal ā For when you get pulled over and need plausible deniability. š
WHERE TO FLEX THIS HOLY DECAL:
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š Your car ā Because Jesus is your co-pilot, but Heās not paying your speeding tickets.
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š» Laptop ā Let the Zoom meeting know that you work for a higher power.
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š¦ Stop sign ā You werenāt gonna stop anyway, might as well spread the gospel.
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š Backpack ā For students who have been baptized in both water and bad decisions.
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š· Fridge ā Apologize in advance for turning the last bottle of grape juice into wine.
šØ THE REASON THIS STICKER EXISTS (A DIVINE REVELATION) šØ
This isnāt just a sticker. This is a statement of faith. A public reminder that when you floor it, youāre just expediting the journey home.
WHO NEEDS THIS STICKER?
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šļø Holy rollers ā You speed, but with a purpose.
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š People who drive like theyāve already said their goodbyes.
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š¦ Tailgated too often? ā Let āem know theyāre tailgating an angel on wheels.
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āļø Anyone who loves Jesus ā But also loves pressing the gas.
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š People who take ādrive-by evangelismā literally.
STICKER SPECS:
š 8.5" x 3"
š Material: Premium waterproof vinyl
āļø Durability: UV-resistant, scratch-proof, and built to last
š¦ Finish: Matte for max heavenly aesthetics
šŖ Adhesion: Sticks eternally (or until divine intervention says otherwise)
JESUS WOULDNāT BRAKE, SO WHY SHOULD YOU?
You thought you were just driving. Turns out, youāre on a mission from God. Get your Jesus Bumper Sticker now and spread the good newsāat 90 mph.
You pull onto the highway. The sun beams down. A voice whispers: āSend it.ā You stomp the gas. Tires squeal. Somewhere, an angel facepalms.
Your speed? Biblical. Your driving? Rapturous. That guy tailgating you? Not on your level. This sticker is for the ones who know that if youāre gonna get there, you might as well get there fast.
š Could you slow down? Yes.
š Would Jesus approve? Also yes.
You pull up to a red light, and next to you, some dude in a Prius is giving you the stink eye. You can feel itāthe judgment, the disbelief. Heās driving with the patience of Job, and you? Youāre on a mission from God.
Suddenly, the light turns green. This is it. You launch off the line with the power of the Holy Spirit coursing through your engine block. The Prius? Left in the dust. Somewhere, an angel high-fives another angel.
Your driving style is biblical. You donāt just switch lanesāyou part them like the Red Sea. You donāt just take offāyou ascend.
But thenāflashing lights. A siren. You pull over, roll down the window. The cop approaches, squints at your sticker, and sighs.
āYou know why I pulled you over?ā
You point to the sticker. āOfficer, Iām just following the Lordās plan.ā
A pause. He stares at you. He exhales. āCarry on.ā
This sticker? Your shield, your testimony, your street cred. Stick it on your car, your laptop, your soul. This is highway evangelism at its finest. Order now and let Jesus take the wheel.
Because when He said āI am the wayāāHe probably meant the fast lane.
Size, Materials & Care
For best results, please review and follow the full care and application instructions included with your order and available on our FAQ page here.
Sizing
- Rectangular bumper stickers are approximately 8.5ā x 2.5ā
- Die-cut stickers and magnets are typically 3ā4ā
- Sizing may vary slightly, especially on hand-cut magnet materials
- Mockup images are not to scale and may appear larger for visibility
Materials
- Made with premium all-weather vinyl
- Waterproof, smudge-proof, fade-resistant, and car wash safe (stickers) when properly applied
- Designed for outdoor use on smooth, clean, glossy surfaces
- Apocalypse-resistant, within reason
Magnets
- Standard magnets are 20 mil thick
- 30 mil extra-thick magnets are available and recommended for colder climates
- Magnets only stick to magnetic metal surfaces. Many modern bumpers are plastic, so please test your vehicle before ordering
- Try your trunk, doors, or side panels if your bumper is not magnetic
Basic Care & Application
- Apply only to a clean, dry, smooth, glossy surface
- Clean the surface thoroughly before applying and dry completely
- Avoid textured, plastic, rubberized, dirty, dusty, waxy, or low surface energy surfaces
- For best results, apply in mild temperatures and press firmly across the full design. Do not apply under 45 degrees F
- Wait 24ā48 hours before washing your car after applying a sticker to allow the adhesive to bond
- Remove magnets before car washes or extreme weather (snow/extreme winds)
- Clean under magnets periodically to prevent trapped dirt or debris from affecting your paint
Important Surface Disclaimer
Frog Mustard products work best on glossy, smooth, clean, dry surfaces. Many coolers, kayaks, vehicle cladding, and similar items are made with low surface energy plastics, which can make it difficult for adhesives to bond, even with premium vinyl.
We cannot offer refunds for poor application, failed adhesion on textured/plastic/dirty/incompatible surfaces, or magnet incompatibility with non-magnetic vehicle panels. If youāre unsure about your surface, please message us before applying or purchasing.
Rewards
Join Frog Army rewards automatically with your order. Earn Mud Bucks to spend on free stuff.




































































