"SPEEDING INTO THE LOVING ARMS OF CHRIST" – The Ultimate Jesus Bumper Sticker 🚗🙏

Listen up, highway heretics. You thought you were just out here breaking speed limits? Nah. You’re on the fast track to salvation. If you’re gonna send it, might as well send it directly into the Lord’s embrace. This jesus bumper sticker is here to let tailgaters know that you’re not just driving—you’re ascending.

THIS JESUS BUMPER STICKER LETS EVERYONE KNOW YOU DRIVE WITH DIVINE PURPOSE ✝️

You don’t need a GPS when you’ve got faith. Your speedometer? Irrelevant. Your passenger? Jesus, take the wheel. This sticker? Your highway testimony.

🏆 WHY YOU NEED THIS JESUS BUMPER STICKER:

✅ Premium weatherproof vinyl – Built tougher than your Sunday morning excuses. 🚗🔥
✅ UV & water-resistant – Unlike your faith, this one won’t fade.☀️🌊
✅ Bold, high-visibility design – Because sinners in the rearview need to see the light.
✅ Strong adhesive backing – Sticks better than a sermon that hits home.🔥
✅ Easy removal – For when you get pulled over and need plausible deniability. 😇

WHERE TO FLEX THIS HOLY DECAL:

• 🚗 Your car – Because Jesus is your co-pilot, but He’s not paying your speeding tickets.

• 💻 Laptop – Let the Zoom meeting know that you work for a higher power.

• 🚦 Stop sign – You weren’t gonna stop anyway, might as well spread the gospel.

• 🎒 Backpack – For students who have been baptized in both water and bad decisions.

• 🍷 Fridge – Apologize in advance for turning the last bottle of grape juice into wine.

🚨 THE REASON THIS STICKER EXISTS (A DIVINE REVELATION) 🚨

This isn’t just a sticker. This is a statement of faith. A public reminder that when you floor it, you’re just expediting the journey home.

WHO NEEDS THIS STICKER?

• 🏎️ Holy rollers – You speed, but with a purpose.

• 🙏 People who drive like they’ve already said their goodbyes.

• 🚦 Tailgated too often? – Let ‘em know they’re tailgating an angel on wheels.

• ✝️ Anyone who loves Jesus – But also loves pressing the gas.

• 💀 People who take “drive-by evangelism” literally.

STICKER SPECS:

📏 8.5" x 3"
🛠 Material: Premium waterproof vinyl
☀️ Durability: UV-resistant, scratch-proof, and built to last
📦 Finish: Matte for max heavenly aesthetics
💪 Adhesion: Sticks eternally (or until divine intervention says otherwise)

JESUS WOULDN’T BRAKE, SO WHY SHOULD YOU?

You thought you were just driving. Turns out, you’re on a mission from God. Get your Jesus Bumper Sticker now and spread the good news—at 90 mph.

You pull onto the highway. The sun beams down. A voice whispers: “Send it.” You stomp the gas. Tires squeal. Somewhere, an angel facepalms.

Your speed? Biblical. Your driving? Rapturous. That guy tailgating you? Not on your level. This sticker is for the ones who know that if you’re gonna get there, you might as well get there fast.

🚀 Could you slow down? Yes.
🙏 Would Jesus approve? Also yes.

You pull up to a red light, and next to you, some dude in a Prius is giving you the stink eye. You can feel it—the judgment, the disbelief. He’s driving with the patience of Job, and you? You’re on a mission from God.

Suddenly, the light turns green. This is it. You launch off the line with the power of the Holy Spirit coursing through your engine block. The Prius? Left in the dust. Somewhere, an angel high-fives another angel.

Your driving style is biblical. You don’t just switch lanes—you part them like the Red Sea. You don’t just take off—you ascend.

But then—flashing lights. A siren. You pull over, roll down the window. The cop approaches, squints at your sticker, and sighs.

“You know why I pulled you over?”

You point to the sticker. “Officer, I’m just following the Lord’s plan.”

A pause. He stares at you. He exhales. “Carry on.”

This sticker? Your shield, your testimony, your street cred. Stick it on your car, your laptop, your soul. This is highway evangelism at its finest. Order now and let Jesus take the wheel.

Because when He said “I am the way”—He probably meant the fast lane.

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Sizing:
-Rectangular (bumper sticker) designs are approx. 8.5 x 2.5 inches
-Die-cuts are typically 3–4 inches
-Handmade! Sizing may vary slightly.

Materials:
-Premium all-weather vinyl
-Waterproof, smudge-proof, fade-proof, car wash safe
-Apocalypse-resistant

Magnets:
-Standard magnets are 20 mil thick.
-Upgrade to 30 mil - recommended for cold climates or aggressive winds.

Shipping:
-Ships in 1–3 business days from Washington
-We ship worldwide
-Free shipping available. Note that free third-party shipping is only trackable via EasyPost link in shipping confirmation. See Shop FAQs for more.

❗ DISCLAIMERS:

Mockups:
Mockup images are not to scale. May be larger in images for viewability. Colors may vary slightly.

Application Disclaimer:
– We can’t offer refunds for application to textured, plastic, or dirty surfaces, or for poor application practices.
– Frog Mustard products work best on glossy, smooth, clean, dry surfaces.
– Many coolers, kayaks, vehicle cladding, and similar items are made with low surface energy (LSE) plastics, which make it hard for adhesives (even premium vinyl) to bond.
– You assume the risk if you apply to a weird or incompatible surface.

👉 If you're applying to an LSE plastic and love our designs, message us — we’re happy to chat about higher-tack vinyl options for tough surfaces.

💡 For DIY adhesion help, many folks use Mod Podge, 3M Super 77 spray adhesive, or apply a little heat and pressure during application.

Learn more about surface energy and why it matters here:

🔗 3M Guide to Surface Energy & Adhesion

Air Bubbles (Magnets):
Small air bubbles under magnets are normal and usually disappear with time/heat.

Magnet Compatibility:
Many modern car bumpers are plastic and won’t hold magnets — try your trunk, doors, or side panels instead. Test a magnet on your car before purchasing. We cannot refund for those that do not check.

Longevity:
While our materials are built to last, extreme weather or improper surface prep can shorten product life.

Duplicates (Mystery/Misprints): Mystery and misprint packs may include duplicates. That’s part of the gamble. Misprints are subject to what is on hand that has been misprinted. If you do not want duplicates, buy a non-misprinted bundle.

Design Ownership:
All designs are original and created for humor/novelty. Parody and satire are protected speech.

No Custom Orders via Notes:
We can’t honor custom requests left in order notes for non-custom products. Please contact us before purchasing.

Stolen or Lost Mail:
Once your package is marked delivered, we unfortunately can’t replace lost or stolen mail. Please ensure your shipping address is correct and secure.