
Ever seen funny bumper stickers on the road and thought, Who the hell makes these?
Hi. Thatâs us. Weâre Frog Mustardâyour favorite small sticker business born from pain, panic, and a random name generator.
Frog Mustard was born out of a weird moment.Â
My fiancĂŠ Brian went mountain biking for the first time (because of course he did), and just a few hours later I get a call:
"Hey⌠I think I fell."
What he didnât mention over the phone: he had launched himself over the handlebars, shattered his shoulder, dragged himself out of the woods with one arm, and thenâbecause heâs built different apparentlyâdrove himself home.
Yeah. We donât know how either.
We raced to urgent care, where they x-rayed him, went pale, and basically screamed,
"You need to get to the ER right now."
Turns out, his shoulder wasnât just broken. It was obliterated. Like, surgically-reconstruct-this-man levels of broken.
It was Thanksgiving, so the ER sent us home with the medical equivalent of a shrug. No surgeon. No help. Just a sling and some barely enough pain meds. OH YEAH and they forgot to check him for a concussion.... so we were back at the ER a few fainting spells later - and yes those cost extra :)Â
We had to wait through the holidays to schedule surgery. They told us it would cost about $2,500. Ok. Manageable, right?
WRONG.
When the real bills rolled in, the total was closer to $20,000. And that was with insurance. We got hit with everything:
- Hospital fees
- ER fees
- Surgery
- Anesthesia
- Physical therapy
- Random mystery charges that still show up sometimes, 3 years later
We were stuck with a $600/month payment plan and a fresh wave of panic. We called the hospital because uhhh... WTF? We tried to dispute it based on the estimate. But, the hospital pointed their finger at insurance and insurance pointed it right back. We tried to submit complaints, do everything, then they sent us to collections. YAY! Thanks, American healthcare!
Ohâand Brian now has a permanent plate and screws holding his shoulder together.Â
So We Panicked⌠and Started a Funny Bumper Stickers Shop
Some people make spreadsheets. Some people cry. We opened an Etsy store??
With no money and no clue what we were doing, I typed random words into a shop name generator and it spit out: Frog Mustard.
No one would probably ever see it. This probably wasn't going to amount to much anyway, right? Let's do it. LOL.
I designed five bizarre funny bumper stickers based on our unhinged sense of humor and listed them for sale. My friends and I already had a running list - easy!
We sold one. Then suddenly I was printing stickers at 1 a.m. in a panic because crickets SUCK and we had THOUSANDS TO PRINT WTF. Don't worry - we've since upgraded to a giant commercial printer.
Now?
- Weâve sold over 50,000 funny bumper stickers and magnets
- Weâve been featured in The New York Times
- Weâre in Zumiez, Bull Moose Records, and 70+ other retail stores
- Brian runs Frog Mustard full-time as of June
- I still work a day job (for now), but Iâm almost free too
Why We Do It
Our mission is stupidly simple: Turn traffic into a comedy show.
Whether itâs passive-aggressive, wildly specific, or just plain cursed, every Frog Mustard product is built to make people laugh, snort, or slam on the brakes at a red light.
â
Weatherproof vinyl bumper stickers
â
20 mil or 30 mil thick car magnets
â
Designed, printed, packed, and shipped by just us two
â
Built for chaos, small business style
What We Learned (Besides Anatomy)
This countryâs healthcare system is a joke. It turns normal people into entrepreneurs out of desperation. Cool, I guess? Oh well.
We didnât have a startup visionâwe had a $12,000 surprise bill and a dumb sense of humor. That was enough.Â
And honestly? That might be the most American origin story ever.Â
To be honest, we are incredibly grateful for where we are now, making funny bumper stickers everyday.
You In?
đ Shop funny bumper stickers + magnets
đ Submit your weirdest sticker idea
đ Follow @frogmustardstickers for chaos on IG + TikTok
Want a perfect application?Check out this guide on applying vinyl decals.