Let’s say you’re going 10 over. You see the lights in your mirror. This is it. But what if… just maybe... your funny bumper stickers makes the cop laugh hard enough to let you off with a warning?
At Frog Mustard, we make unhinged stickers that break the ice, confuse authority figures, and occasionally charm people in uniforms. We’re not saying these will definitely get you out of a ticket… but we’re also not not saying that.
Here are our best bet funny bumper stickers, ranked by their Cop-Charm Rating (★★★★★ = highest ticket forgiveness potential):
🚔 Cool Cops Give Warnings
Cop-Charm Rating: ★★★★★
It’s polite, confident, a little manipulative. The energy here is “we both know how this ends, and it's with a wink.”
🐷 Only Cops with Hemorrhoids Pull Me Over
Cop-Charm Rating: ★★★★☆
You’re either getting a warning or a ticket with extra passive aggression. High risk, high reward. Worth it.
🐸 Permission to Bounce on It, Sir?
Cop-Charm Rating: ★★★★☆
You are now legally obligated to deliver this line if pulled over. Whether it’s flirty or just confusing is entirely up to you. Bonus points if you say it with a straight face.
💙 Back the Blue... Into a Corner and Kiss Them Passionately
Cop-Charm Rating: ★★★★☆
Equal parts chaos and affection. They'll laugh... or need to call their supervisor. Either way, you’re unforgettable.
🧀 I Got My Ass Ate at the Tillamook Cheese Factory
Cop-Charm Rating: ★★★☆☆
They’ll need a moment to process this one. If your cop has a sense of humor and a fondness for dairy, you’re golden.
✨ Honk If
Cop-Charm Rating: ★★☆☆☆
This one is a riddle. It sparks confusion, which can either delay the ticket-writing process or create a Mandela Effect. Mysterious and low-key powerful.
🧛 As If You Could Outrun Me, Edward Cullen
Cop-Charm Rating: ★★☆☆☆
If your cop is a closeted Twilight fan? You’re safe. If not, you're just fast and sparkly.
👶 Baby on Board? In This Economy?!
Cop-Charm Rating: ★☆☆☆☆
Hilarious. But cops also live in this economy. Not enough distraction power to get you out of a ticket, but still a solid sticker.
🏁 The Takeaway:
You’re not just decorating your bumper—you’re stacking the odds. Will these stickers guarantee a warning instead of a ticket? No. But will they make a cop laugh, blink twice, or ask you where you got it? Probably.
No, these funny bumper stickers aren’t get-out-of-jail-free cards. They won’t magically erase that speeding ticket or let you coast through a stop sign without consequence. But they do something else. Something subtle. They make you a little harder to hate, make a cop smile, soften the edge. They might buy you five extra seconds before the citation pad comes out.Imagine this: flashing lights in your rearview. You’re already rehearsing your polite-but-not-too-sorry speech. But as the officer approaches, they catch a glimpse of your bumper—plastered with a sticker that reads something unhinged like, “Merging? Say Pwease.” Or maybe, “Keep honking—I’m reloading my Spotify playlist.” There’s a pause. A smirk. Maybe even a chuckle. That’s your in.Are we saying Frog Mustard stickers are an official de-escalation tool? Absolutely not. But they are a way to disarm someone’s expectations.
To shift a mood. To remind people—cops included—that behind the wheel is a real human with a sense of humor and a questionable grip on reality. And sometimes, that’s enough to turn a confrontation into a conversation.
Even if it doesn’t get you out of trouble, it might just change the vibe. Humor is disarming. It breaks the script. Cops deal with stress, seriousness, and straight-up lies all day long. Being the weird one who made them laugh? That’s memorable. That’s a better story than “another guy doing 10 over.
”So no, we’re not promising immunity. You’re still responsible for your lead foot and forgotten blinker. But you’re also human. And humans? We connect through humor.
You’re not just slapping funny bumper stickers on your car.
You’re making a bet—one where the odds are slightly better with a punchline on your bumper. You're adding a little chaos, a little charm, and maybe even planting the seed of mercy in the mind of someone holding the ticket book.
And if all else fails? At least your car made someone’s day funnier with some funny bumper stickers. Including yours.
Want to give yourself the best shot? Browse the full chaotic Frog Mustard sticker collection and build your own ticket-deflection toolkit.
Want a perfect application? Check out this guide on applying vinyl decals.