Don’t Pass Me – I Absorbed My Twin in the Womb and I’m Not Afraid to Do It Again

Not a Bumper Sticker. A Declaration of Dominance.

This isn’t just a bumper sticker—it’s your origin story in bold lettering.

If you’ve ever merged aggressively while chewing on the weight of your past, this sticker is for you. If your birth certificate came with a kill count, and your therapist sighs when you walk in, you’ve found your people. This 8.5" x 2.5" weatherproof vinyl sticker doesn’t ask for space on the road—it demands it.

Printed in bold text that dares people to tailgate you, it reads:
“Don’t Pass Me – I Absorbed My Twin in the Womb and I’m Not Afraid to Do It Again.”

It's a threat. A joke. A spiritual statement.
And it belongs on your bumper.

Why This Bumper Sticker Works So Hard

This isn’t your average “baby on board.” This is full-blown vehicular intimidation, rooted in prenatal chaos. It’s an attention-grabber. A conversation starter. A traffic disrupter. A funny bumper sticker with unholy energy.

People will laugh. Some will gasp. A few might brake-check themselves just to keep a safe distance. One guy in a lifted truck might propose.

Whether you’re running errands, speeding through the left lane, or simply trying to survive a parking lot without confrontation, this sticker has your back—and your bumper.

Product Details

• Size: 8.5" x 2.5"

• Material: Commercial-grade weatherproof vinyl

• Finish: Smooth, semi-gloss for a clean, bold look

• Sticker Option: Applies permanently to clean surfaces

• Magnet Option (20 mil): Easily removable, reusable

• Magnet Upgrade (30 mil): Thicker, cold-resistant, ideal for metal bumpers in winter climates

Handmade by an aggressively strange small business in the U.S. (that hasn’t absorbed any twins… that we know of).

Magnet vs Sticker – Choose Your Path to Chaos

Sticker Version

• Permanent like your trauma

• For bumpers, laptops, coolers, lunchboxes, and rear windows

• Best for people who don’t plan to tone it down, ever

Magnet (20 mil)

• Reusable

• Great for switching vehicles or tricking your in-laws

Magnet (30 mil)

• Cold-proof

• Built for frozen parking lots, snow drift survival, and spiritual warfare

Most modern car bumpers are plastic—test yours with a magnet. If it doesn’t stick, go sticker and stay unhinged.

Installation Instructions

Sticker:

1. Clean the surface thoroughly (alcohol wipe or soap and water)

2. Peel the backing

3. Apply slowly from one end, pressing firmly as you go

4. Let it sit for 24 hours before washing your car

Magnet:

1. Clean the surface (dirt weakens grip)

2. Flatten the magnet on a smooth metal area

3. Avoid sticking over curves or textured parts

4. Remove and wipe behind it every few weeks to avoid buildup

FAQ – Absorbed Twin Energy Edition

Is this bumper sticker waterproof and weather-resistant?

Yes. It’s made from high-quality weatherproof vinyl and built to withstand rain, snow, sun, road grit, and your inner demons.

Will the magnet version work on any car?

Only if your car has metal panels. Most modern bumpers are plastic. Try placing it on your trunk, side doors, or any flat magnetic surface. If not, go with the sticker—it’s your destiny now.

Will people get the joke?

Some will. Some won’t. That’s the point. The right ones will laugh. The wrong ones will keep their distance. It’s a win-win.

Final Thoughts From the Womb

This funny sticker isn’t for the faint of heart. It’s for those who were born chaotic and stayed that way.

You're not just driving.
You’re surviving.
You're not just commuting.
You're warning.

Whether you actually absorbed a twin or just act like you did, this sticker makes your vehicle unforgettable. And probably a little feared.

Buy it. Stick it. Rule the road.

And remember: if they try to pass you… they’ve been warned.

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Sizing:
-Rectangular (bumper sticker) designs are approx. 8.5 x 2.5 inches
-Die-cuts are typically 3–4 inches
-Handmade! Sizing may vary slightly.

Materials:
-Premium all-weather vinyl
-Waterproof, smudge-proof, fade-proof, car wash safe
-Apocalypse-resistant

Magnets:
-Standard magnets are 20 mil thick.
-Upgrade to 30 mil - recommended for cold climates or aggressive winds.

Shipping:
-Ships in 1–3 business days from Washington
-We ship worldwide
-Free shipping available. Note that free third-party shipping is only trackable via EasyPost link in shipping confirmation. See Shop FAQs for more.

❗ DISCLAIMERS:

Mockups:
Mockup images are not to scale. May be larger in images for viewability. Colors may vary slightly.

Application Disclaimer:
– We can’t offer refunds for application to textured, plastic, or dirty surfaces, or for poor application practices.
– Frog Mustard products work best on glossy, smooth, clean, dry surfaces.
– Many coolers, kayaks, vehicle cladding, and similar items are made with low surface energy (LSE) plastics, which make it hard for adhesives (even premium vinyl) to bond.
– You assume the risk if you apply to a weird or incompatible surface.

👉 If you're applying to an LSE plastic and love our designs, message us — we’re happy to chat about higher-tack vinyl options for tough surfaces.

💡 For DIY adhesion help, many folks use Mod Podge, 3M Super 77 spray adhesive, or apply a little heat and pressure during application.

Learn more about surface energy and why it matters here:

🔗 3M Guide to Surface Energy & Adhesion

Air Bubbles (Magnets):
Small air bubbles under magnets are normal and usually disappear with time/heat.

Magnet Compatibility:
Many modern car bumpers are plastic and won’t hold magnets — try your trunk, doors, or side panels instead. Test a magnet on your car before purchasing. We cannot refund for those that do not check.

Longevity:
While our materials are built to last, extreme weather or improper surface prep can shorten product life.

Duplicates (Mystery/Misprints): Mystery and misprint packs may include duplicates. That’s part of the gamble. Misprints are subject to what is on hand that has been misprinted. If you do not want duplicates, buy a non-misprinted bundle.

Design Ownership:
All designs are original and created for humor/novelty. Parody and satire are protected speech.

No Custom Orders via Notes:
We can’t honor custom requests left in order notes for non-custom products. Please contact us before purchasing.

Stolen or Lost Mail:
Once your package is marked delivered, we unfortunately can’t replace lost or stolen mail. Please ensure your shipping address is correct and secure.