Shhhh I'm Sitting on my Balls (Skeleton)

Shhhh I’m Sitting on My Balls – Funny Skeleton Sticker

Introducing: “Shhhh I’m Sitting on My Balls”, the funny sticker you didn’t know you needed until your lower half made direct contact with the worst geometry known to man.

Complete with a skeleton design just barely holding it together, this sticker is a shrine to one of life’s most humbling moments.

This Funny Skeleton Sticker Speaks to the Soul (and Scrotum)

Let’s break it down.
This is a sticker for:

• Guys who’ve ever sat down too fast and saw the face of God

• People who live in a permanent state of “what now”

• Skeleton lovers with deeply unserious brains

• Folks who value silence only in moments of testicular betrayal

• Sad little dudes with big sticker energy

This isn’t a vibe. This is a diagnosis.
This funny sticker is not subtle, but neither is the pain.
Wear it loud. Wear it proud. And keep it low to the ground.

Product Specs – Designed for Tragedy Survivors

• Size: 8.5" x 2.5"

• Material: Commercial-grade vinyl

• Finish: Semi-gloss for emotional shine

• Sticker Version: Permanent (unlike the feeling in your legs)

• Magnet (20 mil): Reusable like your last excuse

• Magnet Upgrade (30 mil): Cold-resistant like your ex

Printed by a small business that also quietly suffers daily.

Where to Stick It (Besides Your Seat)

• Back bumper of your sedan-turned-sadvan

• Your bathroom mirror, for warning purposes

• Laptop you haven’t updated since your last lapse in judgment

• Office chair (for thematic continuity)

• Fridge, toolbox, or side of your emotional support cooler

• Skeleton shrine (don’t pretend you don’t have one)

This funny skeleton sticker belongs wherever silence and violence collide.

Sticker vs. Magnet – Choose Your Recovery Mode

Sticker:

• Permanent. Like the trauma.

• Best for ride-or-die sticker heads

Magnet (20 mil):

• Swappable for when life keeps switching positions

• A little forgiveness goes a long way

Magnet Upgrade (30 mil):

• Sticks harder than a regret

• Great for winter. Or weak pelvises.

Modern bumpers are plastic, so slap magnets on your trunk, doors, or any place you sit wrong.

Application Instructions – Hold Still, It's Tender

Sticker:

1. Clean the surface (emotionally or physically)

2. Peel like you’re removing a medical bandage

3. Stick with the precision of someone trying to avoid another incident

4. Let cure for 24 hours while you reflect in shame

Magnet:

1. Toss it like your dignity

2. Walk away

3. Assume the position (carefully)

FAQs – Fully Asked Questions

Is this funny sticker waterproof?

Yes. Pain doesn’t pause for weather.

Will this actually help?

Emotionally? Absolutely. Physically? No. Seek ice.

Can I gift this to my sad homie?

That’s the only kind of homie worth gifting it to.

Is the skeleton sitting too?

You bet your sweet pelvic region he is.

A Word from the Bones

“Shhhh I’m Sitting on My Balls” is a funny sticker that understands you.
It’s been there. It’s been you.
And now? It’s telling your story in 8.5 inches of unfiltered, bone-chilling truth.

We all have our quiet battles.
Some just happen to be extremely located in the groin.

Buy the sticker.
Warn the others.
And for the love of God—sit down slower.

Welcome to Frog Mustard — home of unhinged, weatherproof, high-quality chaos for your car. Est. 2023. Over 50,000 sold, 7,000+ five-star reviews, featured in the New York Times, and stocked in 70+ retail stores (including Zumiez). You're in weird company.

🐸 PRODUCT INFO:
-Rectangular designs are approx. 8.5 x 2.5 inches
-Die-cuts are typically 3–4 inches
-Handmade! Sizing may vary slightly. Mockup images are not to scale.

💪 MATERIAL:
-Premium all-weather vinyl
-Waterproof, smudge-proof, fade-proof, car wash safe
-Apocalypse-resistant

🧲 MAGNETS:
-Standard magnets are 20 mil thick.
-Upgrade to 30 mil on our site — recommended for cold climates or aggressive winds.

🧼 STICKER APPLICATION:
-Clean surface with water (avoid detergent or alcohol - but if you must use it - make sure it is all removed prior to applying).
-Dry fully. Apply to smooth, glossy, non-textured areas.
-Press from center out to avoid bubbles.

⚠️ MAGNET APPLICATION:
-Only sticks to metal — bumpers on newer cars are often plastic.
-Air bubbles? Normal. Heat helps flatten them.
-Remove before car washes or extreme weather conditions.

❗ DISCLAIMERS:
-We don’t offer refunds for application to textured/plastic/dirty surfaces.
-Minor variations in cut/print are normal — these are handmade.
-These are glossy/smooth surface, road, and car tested. You assume the risk if you apply to a weird surface.
-If your order arrives damaged, just message us — we’ll make it right.

📦 SHIPPING:
-Ships in 1–3 business days from Washington
-We ship worldwide 🌍
-Free shipping available. Note that free third-party shipping is only trackable via Etsy or Pitney Bowes.

🎁 ALSO FROM FROG MUSTARD:

Monthly Sticker Subscriptions at frogmustardstickers.com

Submit a design to our monthly Frog Army Sticker Stars contest and win a free sticker or magnet!

Follow @frogmustardstickers for memes, giveaways, and general chaos

WHY FROG MUSTARD?
Because we are the best.

Questions? hello@frogmustardstickers.com
🛒 frogmustardstickers.com

🧷 TAGS: funny bumper sticker, weird car magnet, unhinged vinyl decal, frog mustard stickers, waterproof magnet

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Sizing:
-Rectangular (bumper sticker) designs are approx. 8.5 x 2.5 inches
-Die-cuts are typically 3–4 inches
-Handmade! Sizing may vary slightly.

Materials:
-Premium all-weather vinyl
-Waterproof, smudge-proof, fade-proof, car wash safe
-Apocalypse-resistant

Magnets:
-Standard magnets are 20 mil thick.
-Upgrade to 30 mil - recommended for cold climates or aggressive winds.

Shipping:
-Ships in 1–3 business days from Washington
-We ship worldwide
-Free shipping available. Note that free third-party shipping is only trackable via EasyPost link in shipping confirmation. See Shop FAQs for more.

❗ DISCLAIMERS:

Mockups:
Mockup images are not to scale. May be larger in images for viewability. Colors may vary slightly.

Application Disclaimer:
– We can’t offer refunds for application to textured, plastic, or dirty surfaces, or for poor application practices.
– Frog Mustard products work best on glossy, smooth, clean, dry surfaces.
– Many coolers, kayaks, vehicle cladding, and similar items are made with low surface energy (LSE) plastics, which make it hard for adhesives (even premium vinyl) to bond.
– You assume the risk if you apply to a weird or incompatible surface.

👉 If you're applying to an LSE plastic and love our designs, message us — we’re happy to chat about higher-tack vinyl options for tough surfaces.

💡 For DIY adhesion help, many folks use Mod Podge, 3M Super 77 spray adhesive, or apply a little heat and pressure during application.

Learn more about surface energy and why it matters here:

🔗 3M Guide to Surface Energy & Adhesion

Air Bubbles (Magnets):
Small air bubbles under magnets are normal and usually disappear with time/heat.

Magnet Compatibility:
Many modern car bumpers are plastic and won’t hold magnets — try your trunk, doors, or side panels instead. Test a magnet on your car before purchasing. We cannot refund for those that do not check.

Longevity:
While our materials are built to last, extreme weather or improper surface prep can shorten product life.

Duplicates (Mystery/Misprints): Mystery and misprint packs may include duplicates. That’s part of the gamble. Misprints are subject to what is on hand that has been misprinted. If you do not want duplicates, buy a non-misprinted bundle.

Design Ownership:
All designs are original and created for humor/novelty. Parody and satire are protected speech.

No Custom Orders via Notes:
We can’t honor custom requests left in order notes for non-custom products. Please contact us before purchasing.

Stolen or Lost Mail:
Once your package is marked delivered, we unfortunately can’t replace lost or stolen mail. Please ensure your shipping address is correct and secure.