Purple Ketchup Gave Me IBS

Purple Ketchup Sticker – "Purple Ketchup Gave Me IBS" Vinyl Decal

Because Not All Childhood Trauma Comes from Parents

Relive your most cursed culinary core memory with a bumper sticker that dares speak the truth: "Purple Ketchup Gave Me IBS."

This 8.5" x 2.5" weatherproof vinyl or 20mm magnet is professionally printed, sealed in shameful nostalgia, and available exclusively from Frog Mustard. Made for unhinged millennials, Y2K survivors, and anyone still digestively recovering from 2001.

Why This Bumper Sticker Is Technically a Medical Device

• 8.5" x 2.5" size – Bold, visible, and slightly threatening

• Premium weatherproof vinyl or 20mm magnet – Survives the elements (and your IBS)

• Extra Thick 30mm Magnet Upgrade Available – Cold-climate tested to resist curling

• Commercial-grade printing – Sharp enough to trigger flashbacks

• Free U.S. shipping – Comes with side-eye from your mail carrier

• Buy 2, Get 1 Free – Because shared trauma hits harder

Whether it's stuck to your car, fridge, or trauma binder, this bumper sticker brings full-body cringe with a side of digestive dysfunction.

This is the only product on the market that publicly outs you as someone emotionally (and possibly physically) harmed by the existence of Heinz EZ Squirt’s Funky Purple ketchup. And that’s something worth commemorating. Not with therapy. With vinyl.

Let this unhinged declaration ride with you through every traffic jam, grocery run, and awkward Tinder parking lot meet-up. Because nothing says "approachable" like a medically vague condiment confession.

Who Needs This?

🟣 Heinz EZ Squirt era survivors 🧃 People with food-related PTSD 🚽 Bathroom humor connoisseurs 📦 Sticker hoarders with a dark sense of humor

If the words "funky purple ketchup" make your stomach churn, this was made for you.

Also perfect for foodies with a sense of humor, amateur scientists who still think food dye 6 was a government experiment, and anyone who finds themselves whispering "why" in the condiment aisle.

Where to Stick It

🚗 Car bumper – Declare IBS dominance in traffic 💻 Laptop – Zoom background chaos 🧊 Fridge – Label your snack drawer with regret 📓 Notebook – Stick it next to your GI doc’s number 🧼 Mirror – Daily reminder that you lived through 2002

This isn’t just a sticker. It’s a warning label.

Throw one on your reusable water bottle, slap it on the back of your ex’s car, or gift it anonymously to your old school cafeteria manager. No matter where it lands, it starts conversations that no one is ever emotionally ready for.

Why Frog Mustard Hits Different

🚫 No cookie-cutter humor 🚫 No paper-thin vinyl that peels in the sun 🚫 No apologies for weirdness

Frog Mustard stickers are printed on premium materials, weatherproofed to last, and chaotic enough to start conversations (or end them).

Our small biz is fueled by caffeine, intrusive thoughts, and the belief that a single sticker can ruin someone's day in the funniest way possible. If you’ve made it this far, you’re our kind of unhinged.

Real Reviews from Fellow Green and Purple Ketchup Survivors

🔥 "My mom was furious. I’ve never been prouder."
🔥 "My coworkers haven’t looked me in the eye since."
🔥 "My IBS support group thought it was hilarious."

Let’s be honest—this isn’t for everyone. But it is for the weird ones. And that's the whole point.

Ways to Use This Sticker for Maximum Psychological Impact

• Gift it to that one sibling who made you try it

• Leave it at gas station bathrooms like graffiti for the soul

• Stick it on your lunchbox and never explain it

• Frame it next to your childhood trauma

• Mail it anonymously to your childhood best friend who always brought weird food to lunch

• Place it in a scrapbook titled "Signs You Grew Up Wrong"

Trauma, but make it vinyl.

FAQs

What makes this bumper sticker unique?
This sticker is professionally printed, weatherproof, and trauma-core. No one else is packaging IBS and nostalgia like this.

Is it available as a magnet?
Yes! Choose from a flexible 20mm magnet or upgrade to an ultra-durable 30mm version ideal for colder climates.

Is it safe for outdoor use?
Absolutely. It’s UV-resistant, waterproof, and ready for long-term outdoor chaos.

Final Thoughts

This isn’t just a bumper sticker—it’s a loud, adhesive monument to everything that went wrong in the condiment aisle. It’s bold. It’s weird. It’s probably medically inadvisable.

Order now. Free shipping. No fiber. Only from Frog Mustard. 🟣

Shop All

Follow us on Instagram

Sizing:
-Rectangular (bumper sticker) designs are approx. 8.5 x 2.5 inches
-Die-cuts are typically 3–4 inches
-Handmade! Sizing may vary slightly.

Materials:
-Premium all-weather vinyl
-Waterproof, smudge-proof, fade-proof, car wash safe
-Apocalypse-resistant

Magnets:
-Standard magnets are 20 mil thick.
-Upgrade to 30 mil - recommended for cold climates or aggressive winds.

Shipping:
-Ships in 1–3 business days from Washington
-We ship worldwide
-Free shipping available. Note that free third-party shipping is only trackable via EasyPost link in shipping confirmation. See Shop FAQs for more.

❗ DISCLAIMERS:

Mockups:
Mockup images are not to scale. May be larger in images for viewability. Colors may vary slightly.

Application Disclaimer:
– We can’t offer refunds for application to textured, plastic, or dirty surfaces, or for poor application practices.
– Frog Mustard products work best on glossy, smooth, clean, dry surfaces.
– Many coolers, kayaks, vehicle cladding, and similar items are made with low surface energy (LSE) plastics, which make it hard for adhesives (even premium vinyl) to bond.
– You assume the risk if you apply to a weird or incompatible surface.

👉 If you're applying to an LSE plastic and love our designs, message us — we’re happy to chat about higher-tack vinyl options for tough surfaces.

💡 For DIY adhesion help, many folks use Mod Podge, 3M Super 77 spray adhesive, or apply a little heat and pressure during application.

Learn more about surface energy and why it matters here:

🔗 3M Guide to Surface Energy & Adhesion

Air Bubbles (Magnets):
Small air bubbles under magnets are normal and usually disappear with time/heat.

Magnet Compatibility:
Many modern car bumpers are plastic and won’t hold magnets — try your trunk, doors, or side panels instead. Test a magnet on your car before purchasing. We cannot refund for those that do not check.

Longevity:
While our materials are built to last, extreme weather or improper surface prep can shorten product life.

Duplicates (Mystery/Misprints): Mystery and misprint packs may include duplicates. That’s part of the gamble. Misprints are subject to what is on hand that has been misprinted. If you do not want duplicates, buy a non-misprinted bundle.

Design Ownership:
All designs are original and created for humor/novelty. Parody and satire are protected speech.

No Custom Orders via Notes:
We can’t honor custom requests left in order notes for non-custom products. Please contact us before purchasing.

Stolen or Lost Mail:
Once your package is marked delivered, we unfortunately can’t replace lost or stolen mail. Please ensure your shipping address is correct and secure.