I Don’t Use Pronouns! (A, E, I, O, U) – Bumper Sticker OR Magnet

Introduction: The Bumper Sticker That Flunks Grammar Class on Purpose

Ever wanted to flex your commitment to chaos and your C-minus grasp of English at the same time? Meet the “I Don’t Use Pronouns! (A, E, I, O, U)” Bumper Sticker. It’s an unapologetic declaration that vowels are your hill to die on.

This 8.5" x 2.5" masterpiece is available as a sticker or a 30mil thick magnet. Designed to confuse, enrage, and delight linguists everywhere, it’s weatherproof vinyl mischief, handcrafted in the USA by Frog Mustard Stickers.

Design Concept: The Grammar Hill You Chose to Die On

The design screams anti-logic, proudly throwing vowels into the pronoun debate like a Molotov cocktail into a spelling bee. It’s part meme, part linguistic war crime, and 100% guaranteed to get honks, stares, and maybe even a finger or two from behind you in traffic.

Why This Isn’t Just Another Bumper Sticker

This is premium UV and weatherproof vinyl, made for the long haul. Forget peeling, bubbling, or fading like some cheap Etsy knockoff. This bad boy can survive monsoons, desert sun, and the linguistic rage of your old English teacher.

• Size: 8.5” x 2.5” (long enough to make an impression, short enough to fit next to your expired tabs).

• Material: Heavy-duty, non-laminated vinyl.

• Options: Sticker OR the 30mil thick magnet — because vowels deserve magnetic force.

• Durability: Road-tested to outlast your freshman year essay drafts.

Specifications at a Glance

• Available as: Sticker or Magnet

• Size: 8.5" x 2.5"

• Material: Premium UV/weatherproof vinyl, non-laminated

• Magnet Upgrade: Extra thicc 30mil option

• Made in: USA (WA state, brewed fresh daily by Frog Mustard)

• Shipping: Free U.S. shipping, 1–3 business days, worldwide coverage

• Company: Frog Mustard Stickers, where irreverence is a manufacturing standard

Sticker vs. Magnet: Your Grammar Weapon of Choice

Sticker Mode

Commit. Stick it to your bumper, laptop, or bathroom mirror until your roommates beg you to stop. Once it’s there, it’s basically permanent.

Magnet Mode

For the indecisive gremlins: thick, powerful, and removable. Slap it on your car, peel it off before family dinner, slap it back on after Thanksgiving arguments.

Application Instructions

1. Clean the surface. Or don’t, we’re not your mom.

2. Stick or slap. Apply like you’re silencing a vowel protest.

3. Step back. Admire your new role as the grammatical anarchist of your block.

Durability That Would Make Shakespeare Cry

• UV-resistant ink so your message won’t fade like old chalk on a school board.

• Weatherproof vinyl, tough enough to outlast spelling reform movements.

• Magnet option: 30mil thickness that clings like an Oxford comma clings to relevance.

Shipping & Fulfillment: Fast, Free, Worldwide

Straight out of WA state, this beauty ships in 1–3 business days. Free U.S. shipping included, with worldwide options because grammar crimes know no borders.

About Frog Mustard Stickers

We’re Frog Mustard — the vinyl gremlins who turned “unhinged sticker” into an art form. Our designs have hit NYT, Zumiez shelves, and probably your neighbor’s Prius. Every sticker is made in the USA, packaged with chaos, and built to stick harder than a vowel-only Scrabble board.

Why You Need This

• Because pronouns are out and vowels are in.

• Because bumper stickers should be confusing declarations, not boring slogans.

• Because nothing says “do not engage” like grammatical nonsense on the freeway.

Final Call to Action

Grammar rules? We don’t know her. Slap this “I Don’t Use Pronouns! (A, E, I, O, U)” Bumper Sticker (or magnet) on your car and watch the English majors cry in your rearview. Add to cart, embrace the absurdity, and join the Frog Mustard Army of sticker-based nonsense.

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Sizing:
-Rectangular (bumper sticker) designs are approx. 8.5 x 2.5 inches
-Die-cuts are typically 3–4 inches
-Handmade! Sizing may vary slightly.

Materials:
-Premium all-weather vinyl
-Waterproof, smudge-proof, fade-proof, car wash safe
-Apocalypse-resistant

Magnets:
-Standard magnets are 20 mil thick.
-Upgrade to 30 mil - recommended for cold climates or aggressive winds.

Shipping:
-Ships in 1–3 business days from Washington
-We ship worldwide
-Free shipping available. Note that free third-party shipping is only trackable via EasyPost link in shipping confirmation. See Shop FAQs for more.

❗ DISCLAIMERS:

Mockups:
Mockup images are not to scale. May be larger in images for viewability. Colors may vary slightly.

Application Disclaimer:
– We can’t offer refunds for application to textured, plastic, or dirty surfaces, or for poor application practices.
– Frog Mustard products work best on glossy, smooth, clean, dry surfaces.
– Many coolers, kayaks, vehicle cladding, and similar items are made with low surface energy (LSE) plastics, which make it hard for adhesives (even premium vinyl) to bond.
– You assume the risk if you apply to a weird or incompatible surface.

👉 If you're applying to an LSE plastic and love our designs, message us — we’re happy to chat about higher-tack vinyl options for tough surfaces.

💡 For DIY adhesion help, many folks use Mod Podge, 3M Super 77 spray adhesive, or apply a little heat and pressure during application.

Learn more about surface energy and why it matters here:

🔗 3M Guide to Surface Energy & Adhesion

Air Bubbles (Magnets):
Small air bubbles under magnets are normal and usually disappear with time/heat.

Magnet Compatibility:
Many modern car bumpers are plastic and won’t hold magnets — try your trunk, doors, or side panels instead. Test a magnet on your car before purchasing. We cannot refund for those that do not check.

Longevity:
While our materials are built to last, extreme weather or improper surface prep can shorten product life.

Duplicates (Mystery/Misprints): Mystery and misprint packs may include duplicates. That’s part of the gamble. Misprints are subject to what is on hand that has been misprinted. If you do not want duplicates, buy a non-misprinted bundle.

Design Ownership:
All designs are original and created for humor/novelty. Parody and satire are protected speech.

No Custom Orders via Notes:
We can’t honor custom requests left in order notes for non-custom products. Please contact us before purchasing.

Stolen or Lost Mail:
Once your package is marked delivered, we unfortunately can’t replace lost or stolen mail. Please ensure your shipping address is correct and secure.