Piss Now, Shit Later – Bumper Sticker OR Magnet

Introduction: The Bumper Sticker Your Therapist Warned You About

Let’s cut the crap (literally). This is the “Piss Now, Shit Later” Bumper Sticker, the only piece of vinyl you’ll ever slap on your ride that simultaneously embodies philosophy, performance art, and unhinged bathroom scheduling. Inspired by the George Bush “now watch this drive” meme and mashed up with those drama/theater masks you had to pretend to care about in 9th grade English, this design is a declaration of priorities: hit the gas now, deal with the consequences later.

Available in both sticker and magnet form, this 8.5" x 2.5" slab of chaos is a road-ready reminder that urgency always beats dignity.

Design Breakdown: George Bush Meme Meets Thespian Chaos

The design features the classic tragic/comic drama masks fused with the eternal wisdom of “Piss Now, Shit Later,” drawing direct inspiration from the legendary George Bush “now watch this drive” meme. It’s theater for your tailgate. Comedy, tragedy, and bowel urgency—wrapped in a single rectangle of Frog Mustard glory.

Why This Isn’t Just Another Bumper Sticker

This isn’t the gas station-adjacent garbage that peels off after one rainstorm. This is premium UV and weatherproof vinyl, cut and printed in the USA by Frog Mustard Stickers.

• Size: 8.5” x 2.5” — the golden ratio for car snark.

• Material: Thick, unapologetic vinyl with a matte finish.

• Options: Sticker OR 30mil extra thick magnet that clings to your bumper like guilt after Taco Bell.

• Durability: Rain? Sun? Snow? The void in your soul? It laughs at all of them.

Specifications at a Glance

• Available as: Sticker or Magnet

• Size: 8.5" x 2.5"

• Material: Premium UV/weatherproof vinyl, non-laminated

• Magnet Upgrade: 30mil thick, heavy-duty option

• Made in: USA (WA state, baby)

• Shipping: Free within the U.S., 1–3 business days processing, worldwide delivery

• Company: Frog Mustard Stickers, the freaks who make “insane” road art

Sticker vs. Magnet: Choose Your Fighter

Sticker Mode

Slap it. Forget it. Bond it to your car like trauma. Once it’s on, it’s on—this sticker isn’t peeling unless you pry it off with tools.

Magnet Mode

For the indecisive among us: commit, but not really. The 30mil thick magnet sticks harder than your last bad idea, but you can pop it off whenever you need to pass a smog check or hide evidence from your HOA.

Application Instructions

1. Clean the surface (or don’t, we’re not cops).

2. Slap it on. Really lean into it. Pretend it’s an ex you’re blocking.

3. Admire your work. Step back, crack a beer, let the neighbors judge you.

Magnets? Even easier. Throw it on a metal surface and walk away like you’re in an explosion scene from an action movie.

Durability That Laughs at the Apocalypse

• UV-resistant inks mean your sticker won’t fade even if you park in Death Valley.

• Weatherproof vinyl = not afraid of rain, snow, sleet, or your dog’s piss stream.

• Built to survive road trips, car washes, and your questionable life decisions.

Shipping & Fulfillment: Fast and Free in the USA

We ship from WA state within 1–3 business days because waiting is for cowards. Free U.S. shipping is included, and yes, we’ll send it worldwide so you can confuse border patrol in multiple languages.

About Frog Mustard Stickers

We’re Frog Mustard — the sticker company your mom warned you about. Featured in the New York Times, sold in Zumiez, and plastered on thousands of bumpers across America. We specialize in weatherproof chaos: over 300 designs of pure “why would anyone put this on their car?” energy.

Everything is designed, printed, and shipped in the USA by people who think vinyl stickers are a higher art form than oil painting.

Why You Need This

• Because life is too short for boring bumpers.

• Because the phrase “Piss Now, Shit Later” belongs in your driveway.

• Because strangers on the freeway deserve to know your bathroom strategy.

Final Call to Action

Don’t wait until later. Piss now. Buy now. Stick this “Piss Now, Shit Later” Bumper Sticker (or magnet) on your car and achieve instant legend status. Add it to your cart, unleash chaos on the highway, and let Frog Mustard turn your ride into performance art.

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Sizing:
-Rectangular (bumper sticker) designs are approx. 8.5 x 2.5 inches
-Die-cuts are typically 3–4 inches
-Handmade! Sizing may vary slightly.

Materials:
-Premium all-weather vinyl
-Waterproof, smudge-proof, fade-proof, car wash safe
-Apocalypse-resistant

Magnets:
-Standard magnets are 20 mil thick.
-Upgrade to 30 mil - recommended for cold climates or aggressive winds.

Shipping:
-Ships in 1–3 business days from Washington
-We ship worldwide
-Free shipping available. Note that free third-party shipping is only trackable via EasyPost link in shipping confirmation. See Shop FAQs for more.

❗ DISCLAIMERS:

Mockups:
Mockup images are not to scale. May be larger in images for viewability. Colors may vary slightly.

Application Disclaimer:
– We can’t offer refunds for application to textured, plastic, or dirty surfaces, or for poor application practices.
– Frog Mustard products work best on glossy, smooth, clean, dry surfaces.
– Many coolers, kayaks, vehicle cladding, and similar items are made with low surface energy (LSE) plastics, which make it hard for adhesives (even premium vinyl) to bond.
– You assume the risk if you apply to a weird or incompatible surface.

👉 If you're applying to an LSE plastic and love our designs, message us — we’re happy to chat about higher-tack vinyl options for tough surfaces.

💡 For DIY adhesion help, many folks use Mod Podge, 3M Super 77 spray adhesive, or apply a little heat and pressure during application.

Learn more about surface energy and why it matters here:

🔗 3M Guide to Surface Energy & Adhesion

Air Bubbles (Magnets):
Small air bubbles under magnets are normal and usually disappear with time/heat.

Magnet Compatibility:
Many modern car bumpers are plastic and won’t hold magnets — try your trunk, doors, or side panels instead. Test a magnet on your car before purchasing. We cannot refund for those that do not check.

Longevity:
While our materials are built to last, extreme weather or improper surface prep can shorten product life.

Duplicates (Mystery/Misprints): Mystery and misprint packs may include duplicates. That’s part of the gamble. Misprints are subject to what is on hand that has been misprinted. If you do not want duplicates, buy a non-misprinted bundle.

Design Ownership:
All designs are original and created for humor/novelty. Parody and satire are protected speech.

No Custom Orders via Notes:
We can’t honor custom requests left in order notes for non-custom products. Please contact us before purchasing.

Stolen or Lost Mail:
Once your package is marked delivered, we unfortunately can’t replace lost or stolen mail. Please ensure your shipping address is correct and secure.