Please Be Patient, This Actually Is My First Rodeo Sticker – The Ultimate New Driver Sticker for Maximum Understanding (and Chaos)

The Please Be Patient, This Actually Is My First Rodeo Sticker is for those who aren’t just learning how to drive—they’re learning how to exist in traffic without causing mass panic. It’s not just a new driver sticker—it’s a warning, a plea for patience, and a guarantee that if you stall at a green light, at least they’ll know why.

🤠 NEW DRIVER. NO EXPERIENCE. ALL GAS, NO CLUE. 🤠

Some people have been driving for years. Some people know the rules of the road. But you? You’re figuring it out in real time.

Slap this high-quality vinyl sticker on your car, bike, or directly onto your learner’s permit (for legal reasons, don’t) and let the world know:

🐎 Yes, I am new here. No, I do not know what I’m doing.
🚗 If you’re tailgating, just know—I am absolutely panicking.
🔥 This sticker is waterproof, but my confidence isn’t.

And if someone honks at you in traffic, just wave and yell, ‘IT’S MY FIRST RODEO, CHAD!’

Why This New Driver Sticker is a Must-Have

✅ Warns Drivers That You Have No Idea What You’re Doing – They can’t say they weren’t warned.
✅ 8.5" x 3" of Pure Defensive Driving – Big enough to be seen, small enough to keep it hilarious.
✅ Premium Weatherproof Vinyl – Waterproof, UV-resistant, and definitely needed for your bumper.
✅ Sticks to Anything – Cars, toolboxes, learner’s manuals.
✅ A Certified New Driver Sticker – Because nobody wants to be near a beginner who’s pretending to be experienced.

Where to Stick This New Driver Sticker for Maximum Effect

🚗 Your Car Bumper – So tailgaters know they’re playing with fire.
💻 Your Laptop – For when you’re Googling ‘How to parallel park without crying.’
🚰 Your Water Bottle – Stay hydrated, stay alive.
🔥 Your Instructor’s Dashboard (For Legal Reasons, Maybe Don’t) – But they’d appreciate it.
📦 Your Friend’s Car Who Just Got Their License – They need this.

Why People Should Give You a Break on the Road

Most drivers:

🚦 Have been on the road for years.
🛑 Know how to merge without causing a small crisis.
💨 Understand how roundabouts work.

You?

🔥 Hit the brakes too hard at every stop sign.
🚗 Still don’t trust yourself on the highway.
😳 Can’t quite figure out how to turn smoothly.

This new driver sticker isn’t just a joke—it’s a cry for help.

Who Needs This New Driver Sticker?

🔥 Sticker Collectors Who Love Chaotic Humor – This belongs in your collection immediately.
🔥 People Who Just Got Their License and Need a Pass – This sticker will buy you time.
🔥 That One Friend Who Is Learning to Drive at an Alarming Rate – They need this.
🔥 Anyone Who Has Ever Hit the Curb on a Right Turn – This sticker is made for you.
🔥 People Who Just Love Watching Other Drivers React in Confusion – Peak entertainment.

Sticker Specs – Built for Maximum Defensive Driving Energy

🔥 Size: 8.5" x 3" – Large enough to be read, small enough to stay classy.
🔥 Material: Premium vinyl – Waterproof, UV-resistant, and visible even through tears of frustration.
🔥 Finish: Glossy – Because even rookie mistakes should shine.
🔥 Durability: Built to survive rain, honking, and missed turns.

Why You Need This New Driver Sticker Immediately

You could be spending your money on boring, responsible things like extra driving lessons.

OR…

You could be fully embracing your beginner status, making other drivers second-guess honking at you, and ensuring that everyone around you understands that you are absolutely not to be trusted behind the wheel (yet).

The Please Be Patient, This Actually Is My First Rodeo Sticker isn’t just a funny bumper sticker. It’s a plea, a warning, and a life-saving excuse for every questionable turn you make.

And if someone asks, “So this really is your first rodeo?” Just nod and say, ‘And it’s not going well.’

How to Let Traffic Know You’re Learning in 4 Easy Steps

1️⃣ Click ‘Add to Cart’ – Because other drivers need to be warned.
2️⃣ Check Out – Fast, easy, and absolutely necessary.
3️⃣ Wait for Delivery – We ship fast, unlike your reaction time at four-way stops.
4️⃣ Stick It Somewhere Legendary – Then watch as drivers give you the wide berth you deserve.

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Sizing:
-Rectangular (bumper sticker) designs are approx. 8.5 x 2.5 inches
-Die-cuts are typically 3–4 inches
-Handmade! Sizing may vary slightly.

Materials:
-Premium all-weather vinyl
-Waterproof, smudge-proof, fade-proof, car wash safe
-Apocalypse-resistant

Magnets:
-Standard magnets are 20 mil thick.
-Upgrade to 30 mil - recommended for cold climates or aggressive winds.

Shipping:
-Ships in 1–3 business days from Washington
-We ship worldwide
-Free shipping available. Note that free third-party shipping is only trackable via EasyPost link in shipping confirmation. See Shop FAQs for more.

❗ DISCLAIMERS:

Mockups:
Mockup images are not to scale. May be larger in images for viewability. Colors may vary slightly.

Application Disclaimer:
– We can’t offer refunds for application to textured, plastic, or dirty surfaces, or for poor application practices.
– Frog Mustard products work best on glossy, smooth, clean, dry surfaces.
– Many coolers, kayaks, vehicle cladding, and similar items are made with low surface energy (LSE) plastics, which make it hard for adhesives (even premium vinyl) to bond.
– You assume the risk if you apply to a weird or incompatible surface.

👉 If you're applying to an LSE plastic and love our designs, message us — we’re happy to chat about higher-tack vinyl options for tough surfaces.

💡 For DIY adhesion help, many folks use Mod Podge, 3M Super 77 spray adhesive, or apply a little heat and pressure during application.

Learn more about surface energy and why it matters here:

🔗 3M Guide to Surface Energy & Adhesion

Air Bubbles (Magnets):
Small air bubbles under magnets are normal and usually disappear with time/heat.

Magnet Compatibility:
Many modern car bumpers are plastic and won’t hold magnets — try your trunk, doors, or side panels instead. Test a magnet on your car before purchasing. We cannot refund for those that do not check.

Longevity:
While our materials are built to last, extreme weather or improper surface prep can shorten product life.

Duplicates (Mystery/Misprints): Mystery and misprint packs may include duplicates. That’s part of the gamble. Misprints are subject to what is on hand that has been misprinted. If you do not want duplicates, buy a non-misprinted bundle.

Design Ownership:
All designs are original and created for humor/novelty. Parody and satire are protected speech.

No Custom Orders via Notes:
We can’t honor custom requests left in order notes for non-custom products. Please contact us before purchasing.

Stolen or Lost Mail:
Once your package is marked delivered, we unfortunately can’t replace lost or stolen mail. Please ensure your shipping address is correct and secure.