My Body is a Machine That Turns CATS into KISSED CATS

My Body is a Machine That Turns Cats into Kissed Cats Sticker – The Ultimate Cat Bumper Sticker for Feline Fanatics

The My Body is a Machine That Turns Cats into Kissed Cats Sticker is for those who live for feline affection, will stop mid-sentence to kiss a cat, and understand that the only way to truly function is to smother every whiskered creature in your path with relentless love. It’s not just a cat bumper sticker—it’s a declaration, a warning, and a scientific fact.

🐱 INPUT: CATS. OUTPUT: ENDLESS KISSES. SYSTEM: FULLY OPERATIONAL. 🐱

Some people have hobbies. Some people spend their free time being productive. But you? You are a highly advanced biological system designed for one sole purpose: kissing as many cats as possible.

Slap this high-quality vinyl sticker on your car, laptop, water bottle, or directly onto your cat (for legal reasons, don’t) and let the world know:

🐱 I see a cat, I kiss a cat. It’s that simple.
🚗 If you don’t understand, we can’t be friends.
💋 Kiss capacity: INFINITE.

And if someone asks, “Wait… do you really kiss every cat you see?” Just stare at them, nod slowly, and whisper, ‘Yes.’

Why This Cat Bumper Sticker is a Must-Have

✅ Declares Your True Life’s Purpose – Because what else are we here for?
✅ 8.5" x 3" of Pure Feline Adoration – Big enough to be seen, small enough to stay classy.
✅ Premium Weatherproof Vinyl – Waterproof, UV-resistant, and resistant to judgmental stares.
✅ Sticks to Anything – Cars, laptops, scratching posts, adoption forms.
✅ A Certified Cat Sticker – Because cat lovers are a species of their own.

Where to Stick This Cat Sticker for Maximum Impact

🐱 Your Car Bumper – So tailgaters know they’re driving behind a certified cat smoocher.
💻 Your Laptop – For when you’re researching ‘How to kiss a cat without getting scratched.’
🚰 Your Water Bottle – Stay hydrated, stay affectionate.
🛏️ Your Headboard (For Personal Reasons) – Because cats deserve bedtime kisses too.
🐾 Your Friend’s Car Who Thinks Dogs Are Better – They need to understand.

Why Kissing Cats is a Scientific Necessity

Most people:

🚫 Own a cat but don’t smother it constantly.
🙄 Think one or two forehead kisses a day is enough.
🐶 Still believe dogs deserve more attention.

You?

🐱 Will physically implode if a cat is near and you don’t kiss it.
🚗 Have mastered the art of sneak-attacking a feline with a smooch.
🐾 Understand that your entire biological purpose is feline affection.

This cat bumper sticker isn’t just a joke—it’s a philosophy.

Who Needs This Cat Bumper Sticker?

🔥 Sticker Collectors Who Love Unhinged Feline Devotion – This belongs in your collection immediately.
🔥 People Who Will Literally Kiss a Cat Mid-Sentence – You know who you are.
🔥 That One Friend Who’s Always Covered in Cat Fur – This is their identity now.
🔥 Anyone Who Knows Kisses Are Mandatory for Every Cat – No exceptions.
🔥 People Who Just Love Watching Strangers Laugh in Traffic – Peak entertainment.

Sticker Specs – Built for Maximum Cat Love

🔥 Size: 8.5" x 3" – Large enough to start conversations, small enough to remain tasteful.
🔥 Material: Premium vinyl – Waterproof, UV-resistant, and cat-proof.
🔥 Finish: Glossy – Because cat people deserve luxury.
🔥 Durability: Built to survive rain, cat hair, and 100,000 forehead kisses.

Why You Need This Cat Bumper Sticker Immediately

You could be spending your money on boring, responsible things like groceries.

OR…

You could be fully embracing your destiny as a feline-affection delivery system, making sure everyone behind you in traffic understands that cats must be kissed at all costs, and living your truth as the ultimate cat kisser.

The My Body is a Machine That Turns Cats into Kissed Cats Sticker isn’t just a funny bumper sticker. It’s a scientific fact, a personality trait, and an unspoken agreement between you and every cat-loving stranger on the road.

And if someone asks, “Do you really live like this?” Just nod, whisper ‘Always,’ and kiss the nearest cat.

How to Spread the Gospel of Cat Kisses in 4 Easy Steps

1️⃣ Click ‘Add to Cart’ – Because cat kisses wait for no one.
2️⃣ Check Out – Fast, easy, and definitely worth it.
3️⃣ Wait for Delivery – We ship fast, but your need to kiss cats is faster.
4️⃣ Stick It Somewhere Legendary – Then go find a cat and smooch it immediately.

Some people tolerate cats.

Then there’s you.

If you:

🐱 Have ever stopped mid-sentence to kiss a cat.
🚗 Think no outfit is complete without cat fur.
🐾 Can’t be near a feline without smothering it in affection.
🐱 Believe cat forehead kisses are a fundamental human right.

Then congratulations—this sticker was made for you.

So if you’re ready to turn heads, raise eyebrows, and make strangers in traffic deeply understand the importance of feline affection, there’s only one thing left to do.

Click ‘Add to Cart’ and embrace your destiny today.

Shop All

Follow us on Instagram

Sizing:
-Rectangular (bumper sticker) designs are approx. 8.5 x 2.5 inches
-Die-cuts are typically 3–4 inches
-Handmade! Sizing may vary slightly.

Materials:
-Premium all-weather vinyl
-Waterproof, smudge-proof, fade-proof, car wash safe
-Apocalypse-resistant

Magnets:
-Standard magnets are 20 mil thick.
-Upgrade to 30 mil - recommended for cold climates or aggressive winds.

Shipping:
-Ships in 1–3 business days from Washington
-We ship worldwide
-Free shipping available. Note that free third-party shipping is only trackable via EasyPost link in shipping confirmation. See Shop FAQs for more.

❗ DISCLAIMERS:

Mockups:
Mockup images are not to scale. May be larger in images for viewability. Colors may vary slightly.

Application Disclaimer:
– We can’t offer refunds for application to textured, plastic, or dirty surfaces, or for poor application practices.
– Frog Mustard products work best on glossy, smooth, clean, dry surfaces.
– Many coolers, kayaks, vehicle cladding, and similar items are made with low surface energy (LSE) plastics, which make it hard for adhesives (even premium vinyl) to bond.
– You assume the risk if you apply to a weird or incompatible surface.

👉 If you're applying to an LSE plastic and love our designs, message us — we’re happy to chat about higher-tack vinyl options for tough surfaces.

💡 For DIY adhesion help, many folks use Mod Podge, 3M Super 77 spray adhesive, or apply a little heat and pressure during application.

Learn more about surface energy and why it matters here:

🔗 3M Guide to Surface Energy & Adhesion

Air Bubbles (Magnets):
Small air bubbles under magnets are normal and usually disappear with time/heat.

Magnet Compatibility:
Many modern car bumpers are plastic and won’t hold magnets — try your trunk, doors, or side panels instead. Test a magnet on your car before purchasing. We cannot refund for those that do not check.

Longevity:
While our materials are built to last, extreme weather or improper surface prep can shorten product life.

Duplicates (Mystery/Misprints): Mystery and misprint packs may include duplicates. That’s part of the gamble. Misprints are subject to what is on hand that has been misprinted. If you do not want duplicates, buy a non-misprinted bundle.

Design Ownership:
All designs are original and created for humor/novelty. Parody and satire are protected speech.

No Custom Orders via Notes:
We can’t honor custom requests left in order notes for non-custom products. Please contact us before purchasing.

Stolen or Lost Mail:
Once your package is marked delivered, we unfortunately can’t replace lost or stolen mail. Please ensure your shipping address is correct and secure.