Honk If You Are Driving

Bumper Sticker – “Honk If You Are Driving”

Congratulations, you’ve just discovered the most aggressively stupid yet undeniably brilliant way to spice up your commute. Meet the “Honk If You Are Driving” bumper sticker, a masterpiece of vinyl chaos engineered to confuse, amuse, and distract every poor soul stuck behind you in traffic.

Why does this sticker exist? Because driving is boring. Because everyone takes the road too seriously. Because sometimes you need to weaponize comedy in the form of an 8.5" x 3" slab of weatherproof vinyl. This bumper sticker is less “decoration” and more “psychological warfare.” It turns every red light into a social experiment. It makes every impatient tailgater question their existence. And honestly? It might be the funniest thing you’ll slap on your car all year.

Imagine it: you’re at a stop sign, some dude in a Dodge Ram rolls up behind you, and he reads: “Honk If You Are Driving.” His brain short-circuits. He honks. You laugh. Somewhere, the sticker gods nod in approval.

Features: Weatherproof Vinyl, Car-Safe Chaos

Don’t confuse this with a cheap gas station peel-and-pray. Frog Mustard only deals in premium-grade vinyl designed for chaos enthusiasts with a sense of durability.

• True weatherproofing – This bumper sticker scoffs at rain, UV rays, snow, sleet, and even car washes.

• Car-safe adhesive – Slaps on strong, peels off clean, leaving your paint job intact.

• Magnet option – Got a bumper that’s allergic to adhesive? Our 30mil thick magnet version is just as deranged, and removable.

• Bold, legible print – Reads clearly at 60 MPH, because maximum confusion only works if people can see it.

• Lasts for years – We’re talking longer than some of your relationships.

This bumper sticker is built to survive everything from highway speeds to passive-aggressive HOA notes.

Why Frog Mustard?

Because no one else is reckless enough to make a sticker this dumb and this durable. Frog Mustard is not some faceless corporation slapping “Live, Laugh, Love” on generic vinyl. We’re a small, feral team out of the Pacific Northwest who believe your bumper deserves chaos.

• 50,000+ stickers sold worldwide – that’s 50,000 bumpers causing problems.

• 7,000+ 5-star reviews – people are unironically thrilled by how unhinged our designs are.

• Featured in the New York Times – yes, the NYT wrote about our chaos factory.

• Stocked in Zumiez & 70+ indie shops – retail stores are willingly carrying our feral vinyl.

• Run by a tiny team – me, my fiancé, and a dog named Marshall (who helps with morale).

When you buy Frog Mustard, you’re not buying from some mega-brand. You’re joining the Frog Army, a community of drivers, sticker collectors, and chaos gremlins who treat their bumpers like a comedy stage.

Where to Slap It

Let’s be honest: this sticker belongs on your car. But the battlefield is bigger than the open road.

• Cars & trucks: The primary chaos arena. Tailgaters won’t know what hit them.

• Laptops: Perfect for broadcasting your energy in coffee shops or classrooms.

• Toolboxes: Bring humor to every jobsite and make coworkers question reality.

• Fridges: Because even leftovers deserve chaos.

• Water bottles & coolers: Hydration but cursed.

• Dorm doors & lockers: Establish dominance in your hallway instantly.

This bumper sticker thrives anywhere people can look, pause, and mutter, “What the hell…?”

The Frog Army Promise

Here’s the deal: Frog Mustard runs on chaos, and we make sure you get more bang for your honk. That’s why every order is locked into our Buy 2, Get 1 Free deal. No coupon codes. No gimmicks. Just automatic chaos at checkout.

Want three stickers that say progressively dumber things? Done. Want to mix magnets and stickers? Absolutely. Want to fill your trunk lid with Frog Mustard’s greatest hits until your neighbors stop making eye contact? We salute you.

Life’s too short for boring bumpers. Join the Frog Army. Slap chaos. Confuse strangers. Live deliciously.

Bumper Sticker FAQs

Q: Is this sticker weatherproof?
A: Yes — it’s built with premium vinyl that laughs at rain, car washes, and highway grit.

Q: Can I order it as a magnet instad of a sticker?
A: Definitely. Select the magnet option for a removable 30mil thick piece of chaos.

Q: Does this qualify for the Buy 2 Get 1 Free deal?
A: Absolutely. Add any two Frog Mustard designs to your cart and the third ships free.

Q: How big is the sticker?
A: A commanding 8.5" x 3", perfect for maximum bumper real estate and visibility.

Q: Is this really from a small biz?
A: Yep. Every Frog Mustard sticker is designed, printed, and shipped by a tiny team (and a doodle dog).

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Sizing:
-Rectangular (bumper sticker) designs are approx. 8.5 x 2.5 inches
-Die-cuts are typically 3–4 inches
-Handmade! Sizing may vary slightly.

Materials:
-Premium all-weather vinyl
-Waterproof, smudge-proof, fade-proof, car wash safe
-Apocalypse-resistant

Magnets:
-Standard magnets are 20 mil thick.
-Upgrade to 30 mil - recommended for cold climates or aggressive winds.

Shipping:
-Ships in 1–3 business days from Washington
-We ship worldwide
-Free shipping available. Note that free third-party shipping is only trackable via EasyPost link in shipping confirmation. See Shop FAQs for more.

❗ DISCLAIMERS:

Mockups:
Mockup images are not to scale. May be larger in images for viewability. Colors may vary slightly.

Application Disclaimer:
– We can’t offer refunds for application to textured, plastic, or dirty surfaces, or for poor application practices.
– Frog Mustard products work best on glossy, smooth, clean, dry surfaces.
– Many coolers, kayaks, vehicle cladding, and similar items are made with low surface energy (LSE) plastics, which make it hard for adhesives (even premium vinyl) to bond.
– You assume the risk if you apply to a weird or incompatible surface.

👉 If you're applying to an LSE plastic and love our designs, message us — we’re happy to chat about higher-tack vinyl options for tough surfaces.

💡 For DIY adhesion help, many folks use Mod Podge, 3M Super 77 spray adhesive, or apply a little heat and pressure during application.

Learn more about surface energy and why it matters here:

🔗 3M Guide to Surface Energy & Adhesion

Air Bubbles (Magnets):
Small air bubbles under magnets are normal and usually disappear with time/heat.

Magnet Compatibility:
Many modern car bumpers are plastic and won’t hold magnets — try your trunk, doors, or side panels instead. Test a magnet on your car before purchasing. We cannot refund for those that do not check.

Longevity:
While our materials are built to last, extreme weather or improper surface prep can shorten product life.

Duplicates (Mystery/Misprints): Mystery and misprint packs may include duplicates. That’s part of the gamble. Misprints are subject to what is on hand that has been misprinted. If you do not want duplicates, buy a non-misprinted bundle.

Design Ownership:
All designs are original and created for humor/novelty. Parody and satire are protected speech.

No Custom Orders via Notes:
We can’t honor custom requests left in order notes for non-custom products. Please contact us before purchasing.

Stolen or Lost Mail:
Once your package is marked delivered, we unfortunately can’t replace lost or stolen mail. Please ensure your shipping address is correct and secure.