I May Be Straight But I Love Bagels Sticker – The Ultimate Hilarious Sticker for Breakfast Enthusiasts & Allies

The I May Be Straight But I Love Bagels Sticker is for those who understand that while their romantic preferences may be limited, their carb preferences are absolutely not. It’s not just a hilarious sticker—it’s a personality trait, a public service announcement, and an open invitation for strangers to discuss their favorite schmear.

STRAIGHT? MAYBE. BAGELS? OBSESSED.

Some people wake up and eat toast. Some people settle for cereal. But you? You know bagels are the superior breakfast, and you’re ready to declare it.

Slap this high-quality vinyl sticker on your car, laptop, water bottle, or the door of your favorite bagel shop (for legal reasons, don’t) and let the world know:

🥯 My sexual identity? Irrelevant. My love for bagels? Eternal.
🌈 Allyship looks like supporting LGBTQ+ rights AND a well-toasted everything bagel.
🥯 If you don’t like bagels, we can’t be friends.

And if someone asks, “Wait… is this a metaphor?” Just take a slow bite of your bagel and say, ‘Maybe.’

Why This Hilarious Sticker is a Must-Have

✅ Perfectly Balances Breakfast & Sexuality Discourse – Because why not?
✅ 8.5" x 3" of Pure Carbohydrate Devotion – Big enough to make people hungry.
✅ Premium Weatherproof Vinyl – Waterproof, UV-resistant, and schmear-proof.
✅ Sticks to Anything – Cars, laptops, bagel toasters, breakfast joints.
✅ A Certified Hilarious Sticker – Because labels are overrated, but bagels aren’t.

Where to Stick This Hilarious Sticker for Maximum Laughs

🥯 Your Car Bumper – So people behind you think about getting a bagel immediately.
🌈 Your Laptop – For when you're Googling “why are bagels superior to all other bread?”
🥯 Your Water Bottle – Stay hydrated, stay committed to carbs.
🌈 A Bagel Shop Window (For Legal Reasons, Don’t) – But imagine.
🥯 Your Fridge – As a reminder to always have bagels stocked.

The Science of Loving Bagels

Some people say:

🍞 Bread is all the same.
🌈 Labels are necessary.
🥯 You should try eating fewer carbs.

But the truth?

🔥 Bagels > All Other Bread Forms.
🔥 Your breakfast choices are a bigger deal than your sexuality.
🔥 If you disagree, you probably haven’t had a good bagel.

This hilarious sticker isn’t just a joke—it’s a manifesto.

Who Needs This Funny Sticker?

🔥 Bagel Enthusiasts Who Have Strong Opinions on Toppings – Schmear is a personality trait.
🔥 Sticker Collectors Who Appreciate the Unhinged – This belongs in your collection immediately.
🔥 That One Friend Who Thinks Brunch is a Religion – You know exactly who.
🔥 Anyone Who Supports LGBTQ+ Rights & Carbs at the Same Time – Two essentials of life.
🔥 People Who Just Really, Really Love Bagels – There’s no shame in your carb game.

Sticker Specs – Built for Maximum Bagel Devotion

🔥 Size: 8.5" x 3" – Large enough to start bagel discourse.
🔥 Material: Premium vinyl – Waterproof, UV-resistant, and sesame seed-resistant.
🔥 Finish: Glossy – Because bagels deserve to shine.
🔥 Durability: Built to survive spilled coffee, to-go orders, and existential breakfast debates.

Why You Need This Hilarious Sticker Immediately

You could be spending your money on boring, responsible things like organic kale.

OR…

You could be fully committing to the bit and letting everyone know that bagels > everything.

The I May Be Straight But I Love Bagels Sticker isn’t just a funny bumper sticker. It’s a conversation starter, a personality test, and a guaranteed way to make people hungry.

And if someone asks, “But what does this sticker really mean?” Just take a deep breath and say, ‘It means I love bagels, obviously.’

How to Make People Laugh & Think About Bagels in 4 Easy Steps

1️⃣ Click ‘Add to Cart’ – Because carbs are forever.
2️⃣ Check Out – Fast, easy, and cream-cheese-coated.
3️⃣ Wait for Delivery – We ship fast, but your bagel cravings will last forever.
4️⃣ Stick It Somewhere Legendary – Then go enjoy a damn bagel.

Shop All

Follow us on Instagram

Sizing:
-Rectangular (bumper sticker) designs are approx. 8.5 x 2.5 inches
-Die-cuts are typically 3–4 inches
-Handmade! Sizing may vary slightly.

Materials:
-Premium all-weather vinyl
-Waterproof, smudge-proof, fade-proof, car wash safe
-Apocalypse-resistant

Magnets:
-Standard magnets are 20 mil thick.
-Upgrade to 30 mil - recommended for cold climates or aggressive winds.

Shipping:
-Ships in 1–3 business days from Washington
-We ship worldwide
-Free shipping available. Note that free third-party shipping is only trackable via EasyPost link in shipping confirmation. See Shop FAQs for more.

❗ DISCLAIMERS:

Mockups:
Mockup images are not to scale. May be larger in images for viewability. Colors may vary slightly.

Application Disclaimer:
– We can’t offer refunds for application to textured, plastic, or dirty surfaces, or for poor application practices.
– Frog Mustard products work best on glossy, smooth, clean, dry surfaces.
– Many coolers, kayaks, vehicle cladding, and similar items are made with low surface energy (LSE) plastics, which make it hard for adhesives (even premium vinyl) to bond.
– You assume the risk if you apply to a weird or incompatible surface.

👉 If you're applying to an LSE plastic and love our designs, message us — we’re happy to chat about higher-tack vinyl options for tough surfaces.

💡 For DIY adhesion help, many folks use Mod Podge, 3M Super 77 spray adhesive, or apply a little heat and pressure during application.

Learn more about surface energy and why it matters here:

🔗 3M Guide to Surface Energy & Adhesion

Air Bubbles (Magnets):
Small air bubbles under magnets are normal and usually disappear with time/heat.

Magnet Compatibility:
Many modern car bumpers are plastic and won’t hold magnets — try your trunk, doors, or side panels instead. Test a magnet on your car before purchasing. We cannot refund for those that do not check.

Longevity:
While our materials are built to last, extreme weather or improper surface prep can shorten product life.

Duplicates (Mystery/Misprints): Mystery and misprint packs may include duplicates. That’s part of the gamble. Misprints are subject to what is on hand that has been misprinted. If you do not want duplicates, buy a non-misprinted bundle.

Design Ownership:
All designs are original and created for humor/novelty. Parody and satire are protected speech.

No Custom Orders via Notes:
We can’t honor custom requests left in order notes for non-custom products. Please contact us before purchasing.

Stolen or Lost Mail:
Once your package is marked delivered, we unfortunately can’t replace lost or stolen mail. Please ensure your shipping address is correct and secure.