I Am on a Government Watchlist

Let Everyone Know You're Under Surveillance (Probably)

Looking for a vinyl decal that makes people laugh—and maybe worry just a little? The "I Am on a Government Watchlist" decal is the perfect blend of conspiracy humor, internet paranoia, and high-quality craftsmanship. Whether you're a whistleblower, a meme enthusiast, or someone who just enjoys watching people do a double-take, this sticker is made for you.

This decal is an absolute must-have for free thinkers, rebels, and those who know that “they” are always watching. Slap this on your car, laptop, or water bottle and watch people wonder if you’re joking—or if they should be concerned.

Premium-Quality Vinyl Decal – Built to Last Through Every FBI Raid

Not only does this decal make a statement, but it’s also designed to withstand the elements. Made with high-quality, weatherproof vinyl, this sticker holds up to:

✔ Rain, snow, and sun – No fading, cracking, or peeling
✔ Car washes, coffee spills, and late-night deep state surveillance
✔ Years of people reading it, pausing, and suddenly questioning reality

✔ Size: 8.5" x 3" (Perfectly visible but just subtle enough to feel real)
✔ Material: High-quality waterproof vinyl
✔ Finish: Glossy with a UV-resistant coating
✔ Application: Easy peel-and-stick design for any smooth surface

This isn’t just a decal—it’s a conversation starter, a meme, and possibly a fast-track to some very interesting airport security interactions.

Why You Need This Vinyl Decal

In today’s world, privacy is an illusion, so you might as well embrace the dystopian comedy of it all. This decal lets everyone know that yes, Big Brother is watching—and you’re probably already on some list.

Perfect for:

✔ Meme lovers who enjoy conspiracy jokes and satire
✔ Privacy advocates who know the NSA is listening
✔ Hackers, whistleblowers, and tinfoil hat enthusiasts
✔ Anyone who wants to get double-takes in public
✔ That one friend who only browses the internet with a VPN and thinks birds aren’t real

This decal is guaranteed to spark reactions, whether it’s laughter, paranoia, or someone nervously looking over their shoulder.

Where to Stick Your Government Watchlist Decal

Since this decal is UV-resistant, waterproof, and ultra-durable, you can slap it anywhere and let the world know that you probably shouldn’t be trusted with classified documents.

• Car bumpers & windows – Watch as people reconsider tailgating you.
• Laptops & tablets – Because we all know the NSA is already watching through your webcam.
• Water bottles & coolers – Stay hydrated while avoiding surveillance drones.
• Notebooks & planners – Keep your top-secret notes in plain sight.
• Skateboards, phone cases, toolboxes, and more!

Wherever you put it, expect people to pause, process, and then either laugh or get deeply unsettled.

The Perfect Gift for Conspiracy Theorists & Rebels

Need a hilarious yet oddly relevant gift? This vinyl decal is perfect for birthdays, holidays, or just for messing with your most paranoid friend.

✔ For the coworker who covers their webcam with tape
✔ For that one person who refuses to use smart home devices
✔ For the Redditor who casually says “the feds are watching” in every conversation
✔ For yourself, because you might actually be on a watchlist

This vinyl decal is more than just a sticker—it’s a whole personality test for everyone who sees it.

How to Apply Your Vinyl Decal

1️⃣ Clean the surface – Remove dirt, dust, and any government-issued tracking devices.
2️⃣ Peel off the backing – Avoid making direct eye contact with your webcam.
3️⃣ Apply firmly – Smooth it down to prevent bubbles (or hidden microphones).
4️⃣ Enjoy! – Welcome to the list (not that you weren’t already on it).

Why Buy From Frog Mustard?

At Frog Mustard, we specialize in hilarious, unhinged, and high-quality vinyl decals and bumper stickers that make people laugh, think, or panic just a little. Every sticker is weatherproof, durable, and printed with top-tier materials to ensure maximum longevity and visibility.

✔ FAST SHIPPING: Orders ship in 1-2 business days!
✔ WORLDWIDE DELIVERY: Yes, even to people off-grid in the woods.
✔ 5-STAR QUALITY: Over 20,000 stickers sold and counting!

Embrace the Surveillance State – Order Now!

Whether you’re leaning into the dystopian nightmare, making a joke, or just love conspiracy-themed humor, this vinyl decal is for you. Order today and make your paranoia official!

🔹 Limited stock available—grab yours before the deep state intervenes. 🔹

Shop All

Follow us on Instagram

Sizing:
-Rectangular (bumper sticker) designs are approx. 8.5 x 2.5 inches
-Die-cuts are typically 3–4 inches
-Handmade! Sizing may vary slightly.

Materials:
-Premium all-weather vinyl
-Waterproof, smudge-proof, fade-proof, car wash safe
-Apocalypse-resistant

Magnets:
-Standard magnets are 20 mil thick.
-Upgrade to 30 mil - recommended for cold climates or aggressive winds.

Shipping:
-Ships in 1–3 business days from Washington
-We ship worldwide
-Free shipping available. Note that free third-party shipping is only trackable via EasyPost link in shipping confirmation. See Shop FAQs for more.

❗ DISCLAIMERS:

Mockups:
Mockup images are not to scale. May be larger in images for viewability. Colors may vary slightly.

Application Disclaimer:
– We can’t offer refunds for application to textured, plastic, or dirty surfaces, or for poor application practices.
– Frog Mustard products work best on glossy, smooth, clean, dry surfaces.
– Many coolers, kayaks, vehicle cladding, and similar items are made with low surface energy (LSE) plastics, which make it hard for adhesives (even premium vinyl) to bond.
– You assume the risk if you apply to a weird or incompatible surface.

👉 If you're applying to an LSE plastic and love our designs, message us — we’re happy to chat about higher-tack vinyl options for tough surfaces.

💡 For DIY adhesion help, many folks use Mod Podge, 3M Super 77 spray adhesive, or apply a little heat and pressure during application.

Learn more about surface energy and why it matters here:

🔗 3M Guide to Surface Energy & Adhesion

Air Bubbles (Magnets):
Small air bubbles under magnets are normal and usually disappear with time/heat.

Magnet Compatibility:
Many modern car bumpers are plastic and won’t hold magnets — try your trunk, doors, or side panels instead. Test a magnet on your car before purchasing. We cannot refund for those that do not check.

Longevity:
While our materials are built to last, extreme weather or improper surface prep can shorten product life.

Duplicates (Mystery/Misprints): Mystery and misprint packs may include duplicates. That’s part of the gamble. Misprints are subject to what is on hand that has been misprinted. If you do not want duplicates, buy a non-misprinted bundle.

Design Ownership:
All designs are original and created for humor/novelty. Parody and satire are protected speech.

No Custom Orders via Notes:
We can’t honor custom requests left in order notes for non-custom products. Please contact us before purchasing.

Stolen or Lost Mail:
Once your package is marked delivered, we unfortunately can’t replace lost or stolen mail. Please ensure your shipping address is correct and secure.