Don't Hit Me - My Piss Jugs are Full and No - They Do Not Have Lids

Funny Bumper Sticker – “Don’t Hit Me, My Piss Jugs Are Full” Vinyl Decal & Magnet

The Sticker That Says ‘Back Off’ in the Most Horrifying Way Possible.

🚨 Attention, road warriors, truck goblins, and highway cryptids! If you’re tired of tailgaters breathing down your neck like they have zero survival instincts, it’s time to level up your bumper defense system with this funny bumper sticker.

Introducing the “Don’t Hit Me – My Piss Jugs Are Full (And No, They Do Not Have Lids)” decal. This weatherproof vinyl decal (or 20mm-backed magnet) is 8.5” x 2.5” of pure, unhinged, biological warfare deterrence. It’s bold, it’s disgusting, and it works—because no one wants to rear-end a moving biohazard.

🚨 Limited Edition – Because Fear is the Best Insurance Policy. 🚨

Why This Funny Bumper Sticker is the Ultimate Tailgater Repellent

✔ 8.5” x 2.5” – Large enough to read, small enough to still be a threat.
✔ Weatherproof, UV-resistant vinyl – Because real piss jugs might degrade, but this sticker won’t.
✔ Magnets available – Slap it on and take it off when you need to pass a vehicle inspection.
✔ Commercially printed, small-biz powered – Like your piss jugs, this ain’t factory-made.
✔ Designed for maximum horror – The words alone will make any tailgater rethink their life choices.
✔ Buy 2, Get 1 Free + Free U.S. Shipping – Because one piss jug joke is never enough.

Who Needs This Sticker? (Hint: Definitely You.)

✅ Truckers who live life one gas station coffee at a time.
✅ People who drive like they’re starring in their own survival movie.
✅ Anyone who’s had a bathroom emergency at 80 mph.
✅ Drivers who have had it with tailgaters playing Fast & Furious on their bumper.
✅ Survivalists who know that hydration is key… but bathroom breaks are optional.

Sticker vs. Magnet – Choose Your Weapon.

Vinyl Decal Edition

• Weatherproof, UV-resistant, and fade-proof – Unlike real piss jugs, this won’t break down in the sun.
• Strong adhesive backing – Sticks securely but removes cleanly if you suddenly develop shame.
• Perfect for cars, laptops, water bottles, notebooks, and the occasional gas station bathroom mirror.

Magnet Edition

• 20mm magnetic backing – Attaches to any metal surface without a lifetime commitment.
• Perfect for fridges, toolboxes, semi-trucks, and the side of a suspicious van.
• Removable and reusable – Because some days you just don’t want to explain yourself.

Where to Slap This Funny Bumper Sticker for Maximum Shock Value

🚗 Your car bumper – Because nothing says “don’t tailgate me” like a biohazard warning.
💻 Your laptop – Perfect for Zoom calls with people who don’t deserve your time.
💦 Your water bottle – Because hydration is key, but so is humor.
🔧 Your toolbox – Just in case anyone forgets who they’re working with.
🍕 Your fridge – Pairs well with expired milk and questionable life choices.
📬 Your ex’s mailbox – (Kidding… unless?)

Why Our Stickers & Magnets Are Tougher Than a Piss Jug on a Hot Dashboard

🚫 No cheap, peeling garbage – This is high-quality vinyl, not some gas station-tier nonsense.
🚫 No sad, faded prints – Commercial-grade ink keeps your piss jug threats looking fresh.
🚫 No weak magnets that slide off at the first pothole – Our 20mm backing grips harder than a desperate trucker.

We’re a small business, not a soulless corporation, which means every sticker is made with 100% attention to detail and 110% commitment to chaos.

Real Customer Reviews (100% Verified, 1000% Unapologetic)

🔥 “Put this on my truck, haven’t been tailgated since. Best investment ever.”
🔥 “Bought the magnet for my fridge. My wife hates it. I love it.”
🔥 “I work long-haul trucking. This sticker is both a warning and a fact.”

How to Get Your Hands on This Funny Bumper Sticker Before It’s Gone

🔥 Buy 2, Get 1 FREE! Because sometimes you need a spare.
🔥 FREE U.S. shipping! No hidden fees, just straight-up sticker greatness.
🔥 Limited edition! Once it’s gone, it’s gone (like your faith in humanity at a truck stop).

Meet the Small-Biz Bringing the Heat (and Hydration)

Hey, I’m Alyssa, the sticker-goblin mastermind behind Frog Mustard, the viral small-biz sticker and magnet empire that brings you the funniest, weirdest, and most aggressively road-ready designs.

🚀 Over 20,000+ stickers sold – Yes, people actually buy these.
📦 Ships in 1-2 days – Because some things just can’t wait.
💀 Packed with love & mischief – And probably a little too much caffeine.

Final Warning – This Sticker is a Roadside Legend in the Making.

If you’re still reading, you already need this sticker. Don’t let some other road goblin snag it before you do.

🚨 Buy 2, Get 1 Free + Free U.S. Shipping! 🚨

🔗 Click ‘Add to Cart’ before it disappears faster than a full bladder at a rest stop.

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Sizing:
-Rectangular (bumper sticker) designs are approx. 8.5 x 2.5 inches
-Die-cuts are typically 3–4 inches
-Handmade! Sizing may vary slightly.

Materials:
-Premium all-weather vinyl
-Waterproof, smudge-proof, fade-proof, car wash safe
-Apocalypse-resistant

Magnets:
-Standard magnets are 20 mil thick.
-Upgrade to 30 mil - recommended for cold climates or aggressive winds.

Shipping:
-Ships in 1–3 business days from Washington
-We ship worldwide
-Free shipping available. Note that free third-party shipping is only trackable via EasyPost link in shipping confirmation. See Shop FAQs for more.

❗ DISCLAIMERS:

Mockups:
Mockup images are not to scale. May be larger in images for viewability. Colors may vary slightly.

Application Disclaimer:
– We can’t offer refunds for application to textured, plastic, or dirty surfaces, or for poor application practices.
– Frog Mustard products work best on glossy, smooth, clean, dry surfaces.
– Many coolers, kayaks, vehicle cladding, and similar items are made with low surface energy (LSE) plastics, which make it hard for adhesives (even premium vinyl) to bond.
– You assume the risk if you apply to a weird or incompatible surface.

👉 If you're applying to an LSE plastic and love our designs, message us — we’re happy to chat about higher-tack vinyl options for tough surfaces.

💡 For DIY adhesion help, many folks use Mod Podge, 3M Super 77 spray adhesive, or apply a little heat and pressure during application.

Learn more about surface energy and why it matters here:

🔗 3M Guide to Surface Energy & Adhesion

Air Bubbles (Magnets):
Small air bubbles under magnets are normal and usually disappear with time/heat.

Magnet Compatibility:
Many modern car bumpers are plastic and won’t hold magnets — try your trunk, doors, or side panels instead. Test a magnet on your car before purchasing. We cannot refund for those that do not check.

Longevity:
While our materials are built to last, extreme weather or improper surface prep can shorten product life.

Duplicates (Mystery/Misprints): Mystery and misprint packs may include duplicates. That’s part of the gamble. Misprints are subject to what is on hand that has been misprinted. If you do not want duplicates, buy a non-misprinted bundle.

Design Ownership:
All designs are original and created for humor/novelty. Parody and satire are protected speech.

No Custom Orders via Notes:
We can’t honor custom requests left in order notes for non-custom products. Please contact us before purchasing.

Stolen or Lost Mail:
Once your package is marked delivered, we unfortunately can’t replace lost or stolen mail. Please ensure your shipping address is correct and secure.