I Will Brake Check You and Kill Us Both
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Description
I Will Brake Check You and Kill Us Both Sticker – The Ultimate Close Bumper Sticker for Road Rage Warriors
The I Will Brake Check You and Kill Us Both Sticker is for those who have zero patience for tailgaters, know that personal space applies to highways, and believe that a little chaos is the best driving deterrent. It’s not just a close bumper sticker—it’s a warning, a power move, and a legally questionable strategy to keep annoying drivers at bay.
BACK OFF OR BUCKLE UP – YOUR CHOICE.
Some people tap the brakes to slow down. Some people politely change lanes. But you? You live by one rule: If they’re too close, they’re about to meet their maker.
Slap this high-quality vinyl sticker on your car, rear bumper, or directly onto the forehead of the next driver who rides your ass (for legal reasons, don’t) and let the world know:
🚗 I don’t tap the brakes—I SLAM them.
💥 If we crash, it’s mutual destruction, and I’m fine with that.
🚗 Back off now, or test your luck.
And if someone asks, “Wait… are you actually serious?” Just smile and say, ‘Drive closer and find out.’
Why This Close Bumper Sticker is a Must-Have
✅ Instantly Lets Tailgaters Know You Have Nothing to Lose – Your car, your rules.
✅ 8.5" x 3" of Pure Road Rage Energy – Big enough to read, terrifying enough to obey.
✅ Premium Weatherproof Vinyl – Waterproof, UV-resistant, and durable—unlike their patience.
✅ Sticks to Anything – Cars, motorcycles, toll booths (for legal reasons, don’t).
✅ A Certified Sticker – Because personal space applies to vehicles too.
Where to Stick This Sticker for Maximum Fear Factor
🚗 Your Rear Bumper – So the driver behind you immediately regrets their life choices.
💥 Your Back Window – For an extra layer of psychological warfare.
🚗 Your Friend’s Car Who Also Drives Like a Menace – They deserve it.
💥 A Rental Car (For Legal Reasons, Probably Not a Good Idea) – But hilarious.
🚗 The Highway Patrol’s Office (Again, Maybe Not Smart) – But imagine the irony.
Why Tailgaters Deserve This Warning
Most people:
🚦 Respect following distances.
😇 Use turn signals like responsible citizens.
🚗 Understand that aggressive driving is dangerous.
You?
💥 Don’t tolerate personal space violations—especially in traffic.
🚗 Believe in the ancient art of the brake check.
💥 Think defensive driving means making sure they’re more scared than you are.
This close bumper sticker isn’t just a joke—it’s a high-speed boundary.
Who Needs This Close Bumper Sticker?
🔥 Drivers Who Are Tired of Getting Tailgated – Send a message without saying a word.
🔥 Sticker Collectors Who Love Unhinged Humor – This belongs in your collection immediately.
🔥 That One Friend Who Treats the Highway Like a Battlefield – We all know someone.
🔥 Anyone Who Has Ever Whispered “Try Me” While Driving – This is for you.
🔥 People Who Would Rather Crash Than Be Disrespected – Commit to the bit.
Sticker Specs – Built for Maximum Road Rage Representation
🔥 Size: 8.5" x 3" – Large enough to be read at high speeds.
🔥 Material: Premium vinyl – Waterproof, UV-resistant, and built for reckless threats.
🔥 Finish: Glossy – Because intimidation should shine.
🔥 Durability: Built to survive rain, honks, and confused insurance adjusters.
Why You Need This Close Bumper Sticker Immediately
You could be spending your money on boring, responsible things like brake pads.
OR…
You could be fully committing to the bit and making sure no one ever tailgates you again.
The I Will Brake Check You and Kill Us Both Sticker isn’t just a funny bumper sticker. It’s a declaration of war, a psychological tactic, and a hilarious way to establish dominance on the road.
And if someone asks, “But what if they don’t back off?” Just tighten your grip on the wheel and say, ‘That’s their problem.’
How to Confuse & Terrify Tailgaters in 4 Easy Steps
1️⃣ Click ‘Add to Cart’ – Because your patience has run out.
2️⃣ Check Out – Fast, easy, and filled with road rage.
3️⃣ Wait for Delivery – We ship fast, but your tolerance for bad drivers is already gone.
4️⃣ Stick It Somewhere Legendary – Then sit back and enjoy watching people suddenly give you space.
Product Info & Disclaimers
Sizing:
-Rectangular (bumper sticker) designs are approx. 8.5 x 2.5 inches
-Die-cuts are typically 3–4 inches
-Handmade! Sizing may vary slightly.
Materials:
-Premium all-weather vinyl
-Waterproof, smudge-proof, fade-proof, car wash safe
-Apocalypse-resistant
Magnets:
-Standard magnets are 20 mil thick.
-Upgrade to 30 mil - recommended for cold climates or aggressive winds.
Shipping:
-Ships in 1–3 business days from Washington
-We ship worldwide
-Free shipping available. Note that free third-party shipping is only trackable via EasyPost link in shipping confirmation. See Shop FAQs for more.
❗ DISCLAIMERS:
Mockups:
Mockup images are not to scale. May be larger in images for viewability. Colors may vary slightly.
Application Disclaimer:
– We can’t offer refunds for application to textured, plastic, or dirty surfaces, or for poor application practices.
– Frog Mustard products work best on glossy, smooth, clean, dry surfaces.
– Many coolers, kayaks, vehicle cladding, and similar items are made with low surface energy (LSE) plastics, which make it hard for adhesives (even premium vinyl) to bond.
– You assume the risk if you apply to a weird or incompatible surface.
👉 If you're applying to an LSE plastic and love our designs, message us — we’re happy to chat about higher-tack vinyl options for tough surfaces.
💡 For DIY adhesion help, many folks use Mod Podge, 3M Super 77 spray adhesive, or apply a little heat and pressure during application.
Learn more about surface energy and why it matters here:
🔗 3M Guide to Surface Energy & Adhesion
Air Bubbles (Magnets):
Small air bubbles under magnets are normal and usually disappear with time/heat.
Magnet Compatibility:
Many modern car bumpers are plastic and won’t hold magnets — try your trunk, doors, or side panels instead. Test a magnet on your car before purchasing. We cannot refund for those that do not check.
Longevity:
While our materials are built to last, extreme weather or improper surface prep can shorten product life.
Duplicates (Mystery/Misprints): Mystery and misprint packs may include duplicates. That’s part of the gamble. Misprints are subject to what is on hand that has been misprinted. If you do not want duplicates, buy a non-misprinted bundle.
Design Ownership:
All designs are original and created for humor/novelty. Parody and satire are protected speech.
No Custom Orders via Notes:
We can’t honor custom requests left in order notes for non-custom products. Please contact us before purchasing.
Stolen or Lost Mail:
Once your package is marked delivered, we unfortunately can’t replace lost or stolen mail. Please ensure your shipping address is correct and secure.