Your Choice: Raptured or Big Gay Party

Funny Sticker – "Your Choice: Raptured or Big Gay Party"

The end is near! But don’t panic—it’s not fire and brimstone, it’s confetti and bass drops. The Frog Mustard funny sticker that declares “Your Choice: Raptured or Big Gay Party” is the only decal bold enough to make you ask, “Do I really want eternal harp practice, or do I want glitter, techno, and drag queens?” Answer: you want the party. Always the party.

This sticker (or magnet if you’re afraid of commitment) transforms your car, laptop, or fridge into a billboard of chaotic optimism. Heaven or house beats? Rapture or rave? The skeletons of history are watching, and they’re dancing.

Bumper Sticker That Calls Out the Obvious

This isn’t just another “Baby on Board” or “Keep Honking” sign. This is a bumper sticker that doubles as a theological ultimatum. On one side: the Rapture, a one-way ticket to hanging out with creepy church weirdos forever. On the other: an unapologetically loud, sweaty, neon-soaked big gay party.

You don’t need to guess which one’s more fun. Everyone behind you at the stoplight will know exactly where you stand.

Vinyl Sticker That Survives Apocalypse Weather

Every Frog Mustard vinyl sticker is built for the end times:

• Thick, durable vinyl that laughs at rain, hail, and bad theology.

• Scratch-proof, because haters love to claw at joy.

• UV-protected so your rainbow chaos won’t fade.

Stick it to your bumper, laptop, or church donation box. This sticker will cling to anything smoother than a televangelist’s hair gel.

Car Magnet Edition: End-Times but Detachable

Not ready for eternal commitment? Choose the car magnet version. The same rapture-vs-rave chaos, but removable. Perfect if:

• You’re borrowing Grandma’s Buick.

• You’re sneaking into Bible study ironically.

• You want to transform your car into a rolling pride float on weekends only.

Our magnets are thicc—30 mil strong—so they won’t peel off even during a flood, fire, or divine intervention.

Why This Funny Sticker Slaps

The phrase “Your Choice: Raptured or Big Gay Party” hits every chaotic nerve:

• It’s blunt.

• It’s absurd.

• It forces people to imagine glitter cannons at the pearly gates.

The sticker isn’t just funny—it’s a conversation starter, an icebreaker, a traffic-jam philosophy course.

Weatherproof Sticker That Lasts Longer Than Revelations

Worried this weatherproof sticker won’t hold up when the skies crack open? Don’t. It’s designed to outlast:

• Rain, snow, and lightning bolts.

• The apocalypse (probably).

• A thousand “well actually” debates from your evangelical uncle.

When the trumpets sound, your sticker will still be there, pointing drivers to the better afterparty.

Who Buys This Sticker?

• People who want their bumper to double as a gay bar invitation.

• Survivors of church camp looking for catharsis.

• Drivers who enjoy chaos as much as they enjoy ABBA remixes.

• Anyone who wants a laugh while inching through traffic.

Basically, if you have a pulse and a surface, this sticker’s for you.

Collect Them All

Frog Mustard thrives on chaos. Pair this funny sticker with:

• “Horse Denier”

• “Don’t Honk I’m Aura Farming”

• “I Piss Red I Shit White I Bleed Blue”

Turn your car into a shrine of questionable theology and unhinged pride.

Product Specs

• Size: 8.5" x 3" (readable from a rapture-cloud overhead)

• Material: Premium vinyl or 30 mil magnet

• Finish: Glossy chaos

• Application: Peel, slap, repent never

• Lifespan: 5–7 years, unless the world ends sooner

FAQs

Q1: Is this funny sticker anti-religion?
A: Nah—it’s pro-chaos. It pokes fun at the end-times hype and reminds everyone that parties beat harp practice every time.

Q2: Can I use this funny bumper sticker indoors?
A: Yes. Stick it to your laptop, mirror, fridge, or church bulletin board. Anywhere flat and smooth is fair game.

Q3: Is the weatherproof sticker safe for cars?
A: Absolutely. The vinyl version bonds without damaging paint, and the car magnet version? Totally removable—like sin, but easier.

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Sizing:
-Rectangular (bumper sticker) designs are approx. 8.5 x 2.5 inches
-Die-cuts are typically 3–4 inches
-Handmade! Sizing may vary slightly.

Materials:
-Premium all-weather vinyl
-Waterproof, smudge-proof, fade-proof, car wash safe
-Apocalypse-resistant

Magnets:
-Standard magnets are 20 mil thick.
-Upgrade to 30 mil - recommended for cold climates or aggressive winds.

Shipping:
-Ships in 1–3 business days from Washington
-We ship worldwide
-Free shipping available. Note that free third-party shipping is only trackable via EasyPost link in shipping confirmation. See Shop FAQs for more.

❗ DISCLAIMERS:

Mockups:
Mockup images are not to scale. May be larger in images for viewability. Colors may vary slightly.

Application Disclaimer:
– We can’t offer refunds for application to textured, plastic, or dirty surfaces, or for poor application practices.
– Frog Mustard products work best on glossy, smooth, clean, dry surfaces.
– Many coolers, kayaks, vehicle cladding, and similar items are made with low surface energy (LSE) plastics, which make it hard for adhesives (even premium vinyl) to bond.
– You assume the risk if you apply to a weird or incompatible surface.

👉 If you're applying to an LSE plastic and love our designs, message us — we’re happy to chat about higher-tack vinyl options for tough surfaces.

💡 For DIY adhesion help, many folks use Mod Podge, 3M Super 77 spray adhesive, or apply a little heat and pressure during application.

Learn more about surface energy and why it matters here:

🔗 3M Guide to Surface Energy & Adhesion

Air Bubbles (Magnets):
Small air bubbles under magnets are normal and usually disappear with time/heat.

Magnet Compatibility:
Many modern car bumpers are plastic and won’t hold magnets — try your trunk, doors, or side panels instead. Test a magnet on your car before purchasing. We cannot refund for those that do not check.

Longevity:
While our materials are built to last, extreme weather or improper surface prep can shorten product life.

Duplicates (Mystery/Misprints): Mystery and misprint packs may include duplicates. That’s part of the gamble. Misprints are subject to what is on hand that has been misprinted. If you do not want duplicates, buy a non-misprinted bundle.

Design Ownership:
All designs are original and created for humor/novelty. Parody and satire are protected speech.

No Custom Orders via Notes:
We can’t honor custom requests left in order notes for non-custom products. Please contact us before purchasing.

Stolen or Lost Mail:
Once your package is marked delivered, we unfortunately can’t replace lost or stolen mail. Please ensure your shipping address is correct and secure.