I Brake for Longhorn Cowfish

I Brake for Longhorn Cowfish

Your Car Just Became the Apex Predator of the Parking Lot

Listen, most people slap a “Baby on Board” bumper sticker on their Honda and call it a day. But not you. You’ve got taste. You’ve got swagger. You’ve got an uncontrollable love for the unsung hero of the sea: the longhorn cowfish.

So now, for every tailgating truck, nosy Prius, or confused child in the backseat behind you, you can proudly declare: “I Brake for Longhorn Cowfish.”

This is not a joke. This is your whole brand.

🐮 What Even Is a Cowfish and Why Are You Braking for It?

A cow fish is basically a boxfish with horns and a vengeance. It waddles through the ocean like a floating Lego brick with attitude. It looks confused and mildly threatening at the same time—just like you in a grocery store parking lot.

This bumper sticker is an ode to that awkward, majestic, oddly-shaped marine beast. You brake for cowfish because you care. Because you’re built different. Because you once made unblinking eye contact with one at an aquarium and you’ve never been the same since.

🛠️ Specs That Slap Harder Than a Fish Out of Water

Size: 8.5 inches wide x 2.5 inches tall – built for bumpers but fits laptops, coolers, fridges, and your neighbor’s mailbox (don’t do that)
Material: Weatherproof, scratch-resistant vinyl – the good stuff
Finish: Smooth semi-gloss that says “I moisturize… sometimes”
Options:

• Sticker: Sticks forever

• Magnet (20 mil): Removable and reusable

• Magnet Upgrade (30 mil): Thick enough to survive Arctic tundras or your uncle’s freezer truck

Longevity: Built to last through rain, UV rays, power washes, and moral crises
Printing: Professionally printed by real humans in the U.S. – this ain’t AI fish

🎯 Magnet vs. Sticker – Let’s Settle This Like Adults (Loudly)

Sticker:

• Permanent AF. Stick it and commit.

• Great for water bottles, laptops, bumpers, coolers, or helmets (don’t wear it while driving).

Magnet (20 mil):

• Repositionable. Change your mind as often as your hobbies.

• Sticks to anything magnetic (except your dating life).

Magnet (30 mil):

• Heavy-duty. Ideal for cold places where normal magnets curl like cooked shrimp.

• Optional upgrade at checkout because your ride deserves armor.

Not sure if your bumper is magnetic? Here’s a fun test: slap a fridge magnet on it. If it sticks, congratulations. If it falls off, try your trunk, doors, or side panels instead. Or just get the sticker and commit to the bit.

🌊 Why This Cowfish Bumper Sticker Will Change Your Life

• You’ll be asked about it constantly.
  Strangers will stare. Coworkers will Google. Someone at a gas station will whisper “respect.”

• You’ll confuse and delight everyone.
  99% of people don’t know what a longhorn fish is. 1% are now your best friends.

• You’re supporting a tiny biz, not some megacorp.
  This sticker isn’t mass-produced by robots. It’s designed by two weirdos with a vinyl cutter, a dream, and an unhealthy knowledge of fish.

🧽 Installation Tips (For Geniuses and Chaos Gremlins Alike)

Sticker Version:

1. Clean surface with alcohol or something non-oily.

2. Peel backing like a banana.

3. Apply with confidence. Rub it like you're trying to start a fire.

4. Avoid freezing temperatures unless you want the sticker to yeet itself off your car overnight.

Magnet Version:

1. Stick on a flat, clean, metal surface.

2. Avoid weird curves or sharp angles unless you enjoy disappointment.

3. If bubbles appear, don’t panic—sun and time will flatten them like a middle school crush.

4. Remove and wipe the surface every few weeks to avoid dirt rings.

🐟 FAQ – Cow Fish Edition

Q: Is this really weatherproof?
A: Hell yes. It's built to survive rain, sun, snow, and the occasional car wash freakout.

Q: Will the magnet stick to my bumper?
A: Depends. Most modern bumpers are plastic. Check your trunk, hatch, or side panels. If you’re unsure, test with any basic fridge magnet.

Q: Is this bumper sticker available in other sizes?
A: Not yet, but yell at us on Instagram and we might cave.

Q: Why a cowfish, though?
A: Because it’s hilarious. Because it’s underrated. Because it has horns. Why not?

Q: Do you ship worldwide?
A: Yep. Our cowfish energy is not bound by borders.

💥 Final Thoughts – Brake Loud, Brake Proud

This isn’t just a bumper sticker. It’s a statement. A warning. A siren call to all other aquatic freaks out there. The longhorn cowfish deserves recognition, and your car deserves personality.

So go ahead. Be bold. Be weird. Be the person who slams the brakes in front of SeaWorld just to yell “THAT ONE!”

Slap this sucker on your ride and show the world you brake for greatness.
And longhorn cowfish. Mostly the cowfish.

Shop All

Follow us on Instagram