I Eat Glue

I Eat Glue Sticker – The Ultimate Sticker for Chaos Gremlins & Questionable Life Choices

The I Eat Glue Sticker is for those who embrace their unhinged energy, who see a bottle of craft supplies and feel a deep, primal urge. It’s not just a funny sticker—it’s a warning, a flex, and an invitation for like-minded individuals to find their people.

SOME PEOPLE EAT ORGANIC. I PREFER SOMETHING WITH A LITTLE MORE ADHESION.

Listen, we all had that kid in class. The one who looked at a bottle of Elmer’s and thought, “Maybe just a taste.” If you don’t know who that kid was, it was you.

Slap this high-quality vinyl sticker on your car, laptop, water bottle, or art supplies (just to make the teacher nervous) and let the world know:

🖍 I’m not like other people. I’m worse.
🥄 Some eat soup, I prefer a little viscosity.
🖍 If it wasn’t meant to be eaten, why does it smell so good?

And if someone asks, “Wait… do you ACTUALLY eat glue?” Just stare at them and whisper, ‘Only the non-toxic kind.’

Why This I Eat Glue Sticker is a Must-Have

✅ Instantly Raises Questions About Your Sanity – Which is the goal.
✅ 8.5" x 3" of Pure Unhinged Energy – Big enough to make strangers uneasy.
✅ Premium Weatherproof Vinyl – Waterproof, UV-resistant, and glue-resistant.
✅ Sticks to Anything – Cars, laptops, art desks, classroom supply closets.
✅ A Certified Funny Sticker – Because normal stickers are for normal people.

Where to Stick This Funny Sticker for Maximum Chaos

🖍 Your Car Bumper – So everyone behind you reevaluates their life choices.
🖍 Your Laptop – For when you’re researching ‘Is glue actually edible?’
🖍 Your Water Bottle – Stay hydrated, stay questionable.
🖍 A Kindergarten Classroom (For Legal Reasons, Don’t) – But imagine.
🖍 Your Fridge – As a reminder that glue is not a snack (allegedly).

The Glue Diet: A Breakdown

🧠 Why does glue smell so good?
🧠 Why does it look so satisfying?
🧠 Why are you still reading this like you haven’t thought about it?

This sticker isn’t just a joke—it’s a lifestyle.

Who Needs This Funny Sticker?

🔥 People Who Were ‘That Kid’ in Elementary School – It’s time to own it.
🔥 Sticker Collectors Who Appreciate the Unhinged – This belongs in your collection immediately.
🔥 That One Friend Who Shouldn’t Be Left Unsupervised in a Craft Store – You know exactly who.
🔥 Anyone Who Enjoys Making Strangers Deeply Uncomfortable – Chaos is a gift.
🔥 People Who Have a Deep, Unexplainable Love for the Smell of Elmer’s – We see you.

Sticker Specs – Built for Maximum Adhesion

🔥 Size: 8.5" x 3" – Large enough to raise concerns.
🔥 Material: Premium vinyl – Waterproof, UV-resistant, and glue-proof.
🔥 Finish: Glossy – Because bad ideas should shine.
🔥 Durability: Built to survive rain, regret, and high-strength adhesives.

Why You Need This Sticker Immediately

You could be spending your money on boring, responsible things like groceries.

OR…

You could be fully committing to the bit and letting everyone around you know that you are a threat to yourself and others.

The I Eat Glue Sticker isn’t just a funny bumper sticker. It’s a red flag, a personality trait, and an open invitation for people to either fear you or become your best friend.

And if someone asks, “Wait, do you actually eat glue?” Just take a slow sip of water and say, ‘Define eat.’

How to Disturb Everyone You Know in 4 Easy Steps

1️⃣ Click ‘Add to Cart’ – Because glue is delicious (allegedly).
2️⃣ Check Out – Fast, easy, and deeply concerning.
3️⃣ Wait for Delivery – We ship fast, but the effects of glue consumption last forever.
4️⃣ Stick It Somewhere Legendary – Then sit back and watch the chaos unfold.

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Sizing:
-Rectangular (bumper sticker) designs are approx. 8.5 x 2.5 inches
-Die-cuts are typically 3–4 inches
-Handmade! Sizing may vary slightly.

Materials:
-Premium all-weather vinyl
-Waterproof, smudge-proof, fade-proof, car wash safe
-Apocalypse-resistant

Magnets:
-Standard magnets are 20 mil thick.
-Upgrade to 30 mil - recommended for cold climates or aggressive winds.

Shipping:
-Ships in 1–3 business days from Washington
-We ship worldwide
-Free shipping available. Note that free third-party shipping is only trackable via EasyPost link in shipping confirmation. See Shop FAQs for more.

❗ DISCLAIMERS:

Mockups:
Mockup images are not to scale. May be larger in images for viewability. Colors may vary slightly.

Application Disclaimer:
– We can’t offer refunds for application to textured, plastic, or dirty surfaces, or for poor application practices.
– Frog Mustard products work best on glossy, smooth, clean, dry surfaces.
– Many coolers, kayaks, vehicle cladding, and similar items are made with low surface energy (LSE) plastics, which make it hard for adhesives (even premium vinyl) to bond.
– You assume the risk if you apply to a weird or incompatible surface.

👉 If you're applying to an LSE plastic and love our designs, message us — we’re happy to chat about higher-tack vinyl options for tough surfaces.

💡 For DIY adhesion help, many folks use Mod Podge, 3M Super 77 spray adhesive, or apply a little heat and pressure during application.

Learn more about surface energy and why it matters here:

🔗 3M Guide to Surface Energy & Adhesion

Air Bubbles (Magnets):
Small air bubbles under magnets are normal and usually disappear with time/heat.

Magnet Compatibility:
Many modern car bumpers are plastic and won’t hold magnets — try your trunk, doors, or side panels instead. Test a magnet on your car before purchasing. We cannot refund for those that do not check.

Longevity:
While our materials are built to last, extreme weather or improper surface prep can shorten product life.

Duplicates (Mystery/Misprints): Mystery and misprint packs may include duplicates. That’s part of the gamble. Misprints are subject to what is on hand that has been misprinted. If you do not want duplicates, buy a non-misprinted bundle.

Design Ownership:
All designs are original and created for humor/novelty. Parody and satire are protected speech.

No Custom Orders via Notes:
We can’t honor custom requests left in order notes for non-custom products. Please contact us before purchasing.

Stolen or Lost Mail:
Once your package is marked delivered, we unfortunately can’t replace lost or stolen mail. Please ensure your shipping address is correct and secure.