Don't Honk - I Will Cum

Funny Bumper Sticker – "Don’t Honk I Will Cum" Vinyl Decal

Not all funny bumper sticker are created equal—some are bold, some are funny, and some leave people deeply, deeply confused at a red light. This one? It’s all three.

This funny bumper sticker is for those who believe in shock value, absurdity, and making traffic just a little bit weirder. Whether you slap it on your car, laptop, water bottle, or anywhere else that needs a little more chaos, it’s guaranteed to get a reaction, a double take, and possibly a new level of road respect.

Because why ask people nicely not to honk when you can make them question everything?

Why You Need This Funny Bumper Sticker in Your Life

✅ Weatherproof & Durable – Survives rain, shame, and awkward eye contact.
✅ Bold, High-Contrast Design – So even confused drivers can read it.
✅ Easy to Apply, Peels Clean – No sticky mess, just maximum disturbance.
✅ Guaranteed to Get Reactions – From laughter to sheer discomfort.

This funny bumper sticker isn’t just a decal—it’s a public service announcement.

Where to Slap This Sticker for Maximum Impact

🚗 Car Bumper or Window – The only way to truly test someone’s patience.
💻 Laptop or Tablet – Perfect for breaking the ice in meetings.
🥤 Water Bottle or Hydroflask – Stay hydrated, stay unhinged.
📖 Notebook or Planner – For when productivity just isn’t on the agenda.
🚪 Bathroom Mirror or Fridge – Because you deserve daily motivation.

Wherever it goes, this sticker will leave people with more questions than answers.

What Happens After You Apply This Sticker?

🚨 More hesitancy before people honk at you.
🚨 At least one driver losing their mind behind you.
🚨 A noticeable increase in traffic entertainment.
🚨 People trying to process what they just read.
🚨 Friends demanding to know where you got it.

This sticker doesn’t just exist—it takes up mental real estate.

The Perfect Gift for Agents of Chaos

🎁 For Sticker Collectors Who Love the Unhinged – This one’s a must-have.
🎁 For Friends Who Like to Make People Uncomfortable – They will cherish this.
🎁 For Drivers Who’ve Had Enough of Road Rage – This should balance things out.
🎁 For Yourself, Obviously – Because you enjoy a little anarchy.

This funny bumper sticker isn’t just hilarious—it’s a psychological weapon.

Built to Last – Unlike Some People's Willpower to Honk

💪 Weatherproof & Waterproof – Handles rain, spilled drinks, and existential crises.
🔥 UV-Resistant – No fading, no peeling—just lasting absurdity.
🛠 Premium Vinyl Material – Applies smooth, removes clean, stays legendary.

This sticker isn’t just for fun—it’s a test of humanity.

Final Thoughts: You Know This Belongs in Your Collection

🚨 One sticker. Maximum disturbance. Zero regrets.
🚨 If you don’t get this now, you’ll wish you had when you see it in the wild.
🚨 Your car, laptop, and water bottle deserve better. They deserve this.

🚨 LIMITED STOCK – BEFORE SOMEONE AT TRAFFIC CONTROL BANS IT. 🚨

👉 BUY NOW & MAKE TRAFFIC INTERESTING AGAIN.

BECAUSE SOMETIMES, TRAFFIC NEEDS A LITTLE CHAOS.

Let’s be real—people honk for the dumbest reasons. Someone in front of them doesn’t hit the gas 0.2 seconds after a light turns green? HONK. A pedestrian legally crosses the street? HONK. A driver tries to merge like a normal human? HONK.

This sticker? It fights back in the most unhinged way possible.

The beauty of this decal is that it instantly flips the power dynamic. Anyone who honks after reading it has to sit with that decision. They did this to themselves. And if they don’t honk? That’s a win for you. Either way, you live rent-free in their head for the rest of the drive.

WHAT ELSE CAN YOU EXPECT?

🚨 More confused expressions in rearview mirrors than ever before.
🚨 At least one person realizing they should never have honked.
🚨 An instant upgrade to your chaotic energy.
🚨 A silent, yet powerful form of psychological warfare.
🚨 The joy of knowing you have the best bumper sticker on the road.

Some stickers are just there. This one changes people.

🚨 LIMITED STOCK – BEFORE IT GETS OUTLAWED IN AT LEAST THREE STATES. 🚨

👉 ORDER NOW & LET THE SOCIAL EXPERIMENT BEGIN.

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Sizing:
-Rectangular (bumper sticker) designs are approx. 8.5 x 2.5 inches
-Die-cuts are typically 3–4 inches
-Handmade! Sizing may vary slightly.

Materials:
-Premium all-weather vinyl
-Waterproof, smudge-proof, fade-proof, car wash safe
-Apocalypse-resistant

Magnets:
-Standard magnets are 20 mil thick.
-Upgrade to 30 mil - recommended for cold climates or aggressive winds.

Shipping:
-Ships in 1–3 business days from Washington
-We ship worldwide
-Free shipping available. Note that free third-party shipping is only trackable via EasyPost link in shipping confirmation. See Shop FAQs for more.

❗ DISCLAIMERS:

Mockups:
Mockup images are not to scale. May be larger in images for viewability. Colors may vary slightly.

Application Disclaimer:
– We can’t offer refunds for application to textured, plastic, or dirty surfaces, or for poor application practices.
– Frog Mustard products work best on glossy, smooth, clean, dry surfaces.
– Many coolers, kayaks, vehicle cladding, and similar items are made with low surface energy (LSE) plastics, which make it hard for adhesives (even premium vinyl) to bond.
– You assume the risk if you apply to a weird or incompatible surface.

👉 If you're applying to an LSE plastic and love our designs, message us — we’re happy to chat about higher-tack vinyl options for tough surfaces.

💡 For DIY adhesion help, many folks use Mod Podge, 3M Super 77 spray adhesive, or apply a little heat and pressure during application.

Learn more about surface energy and why it matters here:

🔗 3M Guide to Surface Energy & Adhesion

Air Bubbles (Magnets):
Small air bubbles under magnets are normal and usually disappear with time/heat.

Magnet Compatibility:
Many modern car bumpers are plastic and won’t hold magnets — try your trunk, doors, or side panels instead. Test a magnet on your car before purchasing. We cannot refund for those that do not check.

Longevity:
While our materials are built to last, extreme weather or improper surface prep can shorten product life.

Duplicates (Mystery/Misprints): Mystery and misprint packs may include duplicates. That’s part of the gamble. Misprints are subject to what is on hand that has been misprinted. If you do not want duplicates, buy a non-misprinted bundle.

Design Ownership:
All designs are original and created for humor/novelty. Parody and satire are protected speech.

No Custom Orders via Notes:
We can’t honor custom requests left in order notes for non-custom products. Please contact us before purchasing.

Stolen or Lost Mail:
Once your package is marked delivered, we unfortunately can’t replace lost or stolen mail. Please ensure your shipping address is correct and secure.