I Was Born in the Wrong Era (Phanerozoic Eon)

I Was Born in the Wrong Era Sticker – The Ultimate Paleontology Sticker for Ancient Souls & Dino Enthusiasts

The I Was Born in the Wrong Era Sticker is for those who feel a deep connection to fossils, wish they could have roamed with dinosaurs, and believe that the best era wasn’t the '90s—it was the Paleolithic. It’s not just a paleontology sticker—it’s a bold declaration, a prehistoric flex, and a way to let everyone know you’re not built for this weak, modern world.

MODERN LIFE? OVERRATED. BRING BACK THE PALEOLITHIC.

Some people romanticize the Renaissance. Some people wish they lived in the 1980s. But you? You were meant for something much older—like 65 million years older.

Slap this high-quality vinyl sticker on your car, laptop, water bottle, or the nearest cave painting and let the world know:

🦴 I belong in a world of megafauna, not megacorporations.
🦕 If I could trade WiFi for a pet velociraptor, I absolutely would.
🦴 Extinction? Couldn’t be me.

And if someone asks, “Wait… you actually wish you lived with dinosaurs?” Just nod solemnly and say, ‘Yes. Yes, I do.’

Why This Paleontology Sticker is a Must-Have

✅ Instantly Establishes Your Love for Prehistoric Times – No time machines required.
✅ 8.5" x 3" of Pure Fossilized Nostalgia – Big enough to confuse the modern-minded.
✅ Premium Weatherproof Vinyl – Waterproof, UV-resistant, and meteor-proof.
✅ Sticks to Anything – Cars, laptops, water bottles, museum gift shop doors (for legal reasons, don’t).
✅ A Certified Sticker – Because history isn’t old—it’s legendary.

Where to Stick This Sticker for Maximum Effect

🦖 Your Car Bumper – So tailgaters know you have ancient priorities.
🦴 Your Laptop – For when you’re Googling “how to legally obtain fossils.”
🦖 Your Water Bottle – Stay hydrated, stay prehistoric.
🦴 A Museum Gift Shop – Because paleontologists are your people.
🦖 Your Friend’s Tesla (For Legal Reasons, Don’t) – But imagine their confusion.

Why You Were Absolutely Born in the Wrong Era

Most people:

🌍 Love modern technology.
📱 Think history is just a subject in school.
🚗 Drive cars instead of riding a triceratops into battle.

You?

🦖 Would trade all your possessions for a pet dinosaur.
🦴 Believe the Paleolithic was peak human existence.
🦖 Would rather be studying fossils than sitting in a cubicle.

This paleontology sticker isn’t just a joke—it’s a movement.

Who Needs This Paleontology Sticker?

🔥 Paleontology Nerds Who Know Dinosaurs Were the Superior Species – We respect the science.
🔥 Sticker Collectors Who Appreciate the Unhinged – This belongs in your collection immediately.
🔥 That One Friend Who Thinks About Extinction-Level Events Too Often – You know exactly who.
🔥 Anyone Who Thinks Fossils Are More Interesting Than Modern Pop Culture – Because they are.
🔥 People Who Secretly Wish They Were a Caveman – Unironically.

Sticker Specs – Built for Maximum Prehistoric Energy

🔥 Size: 8.5" x 3" – Large enough to be seen, small enough to fit on your time machine.
🔥 Material: Premium vinyl – Waterproof, UV-resistant, and ancient-world-ready.
🔥 Finish: Glossy – Because fossils should shine.
🔥 Durability: Built to survive rain, meteor showers, and existential crises about being born too late.

Why You Need This Paleontology Sticker Immediately

You could be spending your money on boring, responsible things like modern technology.

OR…

You could be fully committing to your prehistoric nostalgia and making sure everyone knows that you weren’t meant for this weak, WiFi-dependent existence.

The I Was Born in the Wrong Era Sticker isn’t just a funny bumper sticker. It’s a statement, a conversation starter, and a way to let people know that you’re ready to embrace a more… Jurassic lifestyle.

And if someone asks, “But why do you need a sticker for that?” Just stare at them and say, ‘Because I was meant for something greater.’

How to Confuse Modern Society in 4 Easy Steps

1️⃣ Click ‘Add to Cart’ – Because you’re done with this weak modern world.
2️⃣ Check Out – Fast, easy, and filled with ancient wisdom.
3️⃣ Wait for Delivery – We ship fast, but your longing for the past is eternal.
4️⃣ Stick It Somewhere Legendary – Then sit back and wait for the asteroid.

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Sizing:
-Rectangular (bumper sticker) designs are approx. 8.5 x 2.5 inches
-Die-cuts are typically 3–4 inches
-Handmade! Sizing may vary slightly.

Materials:
-Premium all-weather vinyl
-Waterproof, smudge-proof, fade-proof, car wash safe
-Apocalypse-resistant

Magnets:
-Standard magnets are 20 mil thick.
-Upgrade to 30 mil - recommended for cold climates or aggressive winds.

Shipping:
-Ships in 1–3 business days from Washington
-We ship worldwide
-Free shipping available. Note that free third-party shipping is only trackable via EasyPost link in shipping confirmation. See Shop FAQs for more.

❗ DISCLAIMERS:

Mockups:
Mockup images are not to scale. May be larger in images for viewability. Colors may vary slightly.

Application Disclaimer:
– We can’t offer refunds for application to textured, plastic, or dirty surfaces, or for poor application practices.
– Frog Mustard products work best on glossy, smooth, clean, dry surfaces.
– Many coolers, kayaks, vehicle cladding, and similar items are made with low surface energy (LSE) plastics, which make it hard for adhesives (even premium vinyl) to bond.
– You assume the risk if you apply to a weird or incompatible surface.

👉 If you're applying to an LSE plastic and love our designs, message us — we’re happy to chat about higher-tack vinyl options for tough surfaces.

💡 For DIY adhesion help, many folks use Mod Podge, 3M Super 77 spray adhesive, or apply a little heat and pressure during application.

Learn more about surface energy and why it matters here:

🔗 3M Guide to Surface Energy & Adhesion

Air Bubbles (Magnets):
Small air bubbles under magnets are normal and usually disappear with time/heat.

Magnet Compatibility:
Many modern car bumpers are plastic and won’t hold magnets — try your trunk, doors, or side panels instead. Test a magnet on your car before purchasing. We cannot refund for those that do not check.

Longevity:
While our materials are built to last, extreme weather or improper surface prep can shorten product life.

Duplicates (Mystery/Misprints): Mystery and misprint packs may include duplicates. That’s part of the gamble. Misprints are subject to what is on hand that has been misprinted. If you do not want duplicates, buy a non-misprinted bundle.

Design Ownership:
All designs are original and created for humor/novelty. Parody and satire are protected speech.

No Custom Orders via Notes:
We can’t honor custom requests left in order notes for non-custom products. Please contact us before purchasing.

Stolen or Lost Mail:
Once your package is marked delivered, we unfortunately can’t replace lost or stolen mail. Please ensure your shipping address is correct and secure.