I’m Not Like the Other Girls, I Have Hemorrhoids Sticker – The Ultimate Vinyl Girl Decal for Unhinged Queens

The I’m Not Like the Other Girls, I Have Hemorrhoids Sticker is for those who embrace their weirdness, know that true individuality is found in medical struggles, and aren’t afraid to share way too much information in the funniest way possible. It’s not just a vinyl girl decal—it’s a personality test, a conversation starter, and a surefire way to make people rethink their life choices while waiting at a stoplight.

QUIRKY? NO. DIFFERENT? YES. IN PAIN? ALWAYS.

Some people say they’re not like the other girls because they read books. Some people claim they’re different because they thrift. But you? You’re built different—because you have hemorrhoids.

Slap this high-quality vinyl sticker on your car, laptop, water bottle, or directly onto your donut-shaped seat cushion and let the world know:

🩸 Yes, I’m unique. No, you don’t want my problems.
🪑 Sitting comfortably? Couldn’t be me.
🩸 Why be mysterious when you can be medically concerning?

And if someone asks, “Wait… do you really have hemorrhoids?” Just sigh deeply and say, ‘You wouldn’t understand.’

Why This Vinyl Girl Decal is a Must-Have

✅ Instantly Separates You from “Other Girls” – Because true individuality comes from suffering.
✅ 8.5" x 3" of Unhinged Feminine Energy – Big enough to confuse, small enough to intrigue.
✅ Premium Weatherproof Vinyl – Waterproof, UV-resistant, and uncomfortable-seat-proof.
✅ Sticks to Anything – Cars, laptops, prescription creams, your proctologist’s office door (for legal reasons, don’t).
✅ A Certified Girl Decal – Because oversharing is the new aesthetic.

Where to Stick This Girl Decal for Maximum Impact

💖 Your Car Bumper – So people behind you immediately regret looking.
🩸 Your Laptop – For when you’re Googling "home remedies" at 3 AM.
💖 Your Water Bottle – Stay hydrated, stay inflamed.
🩸 Your Bathroom Mirror – For daily affirmation purposes.
💖 Your Tinder Profile Pic (For Chaos Reasons Only) – We support it.

Why Being Different Means More Than Just Liking Coffee

Most people:

📚 Think being unique means reading poetry.
🎀 Describe themselves as "not like the other girls" because they like video games.
🚗 Keep their medical history to themselves like “normal” people.

You?

💖 Are redefining what it means to be “quirky.”
🩸 Live in constant discomfort but make it everyone else’s problem.
💖 Will make at least one person Google “hemorrhoids symptoms” after seeing your car.

This girl decal isn’t just a joke—it’s a movement.

Who Needs This inyl Girl Decal?

🔥 Girls Who Are Tired of Being Compared to “Other Girls” – You're built different. Literally.
🔥 Sticker Collectors Who Love the Unhinged & Oversharing – This belongs in your collection immediately.
🔥 That One Friend Who Has No Filter – You know exactly who.
🔥 Anyone Who Thinks Humor is the Best Coping Mechanism – Laughter is the best medicine, but you should still see a doctor.
🔥 People Who Live for Making Strangers Uncomfortable – Mission accomplished.

Sticker Specs – Built for Maximum Uncomfortable Conversations

🔥 Size: 8.5" x 3" – Large enough to be read, small enough to still be a mystery.
🔥 Material: Premium vinyl – Waterproof, UV-resistant, and built for chaos.
🔥 Finish: Glossy – Because your struggles should shine.
🔥 Durability: Built to survive rain, doctor’s appointments, and awkward first dates.

Why You Need This Vinyl Girl Decal Immediately

You could be spending your money on boring, responsible things like fiber supplements.

OR…

You could be fully embracing your unhinged side and letting everyone know that you are, in fact, NOT like the other girls—and you have the medical records to prove it.

The I’m Not Like the Other Girls, I Have Hemorrhoids Sticker isn’t just a funny bumper sticker. It’s a declaration, a medical red flag, and a guaranteed way to make your passengers question why they got in your car.

And if someone asks, “But why do you need a sticker for that?” Just stare at them and say, ‘Because no one else will talk about it.’

How to Make People Laugh and Worry at the Same Time in 4 Easy Steps

1️⃣ Click ‘Add to Cart’ – Because your pain deserves to be seen.
2️⃣ Check Out – Fast, easy, and slightly concerning.
3️⃣ Wait for Delivery – We ship fast, but your discomfort lasts forever.
4️⃣ Stick It Somewhere Legendary – Then sit (or try to, at least) and enjoy.

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Sizing:
-Rectangular (bumper sticker) designs are approx. 8.5 x 2.5 inches
-Die-cuts are typically 3–4 inches
-Handmade! Sizing may vary slightly.

Materials:
-Premium all-weather vinyl
-Waterproof, smudge-proof, fade-proof, car wash safe
-Apocalypse-resistant

Magnets:
-Standard magnets are 20 mil thick.
-Upgrade to 30 mil - recommended for cold climates or aggressive winds.

Shipping:
-Ships in 1–3 business days from Washington
-We ship worldwide
-Free shipping available. Note that free third-party shipping is only trackable via EasyPost link in shipping confirmation. See Shop FAQs for more.

❗ DISCLAIMERS:

Mockups:
Mockup images are not to scale. May be larger in images for viewability. Colors may vary slightly.

Application Disclaimer:
– We can’t offer refunds for application to textured, plastic, or dirty surfaces, or for poor application practices.
– Frog Mustard products work best on glossy, smooth, clean, dry surfaces.
– Many coolers, kayaks, vehicle cladding, and similar items are made with low surface energy (LSE) plastics, which make it hard for adhesives (even premium vinyl) to bond.
– You assume the risk if you apply to a weird or incompatible surface.

👉 If you're applying to an LSE plastic and love our designs, message us — we’re happy to chat about higher-tack vinyl options for tough surfaces.

💡 For DIY adhesion help, many folks use Mod Podge, 3M Super 77 spray adhesive, or apply a little heat and pressure during application.

Learn more about surface energy and why it matters here:

🔗 3M Guide to Surface Energy & Adhesion

Air Bubbles (Magnets):
Small air bubbles under magnets are normal and usually disappear with time/heat.

Magnet Compatibility:
Many modern car bumpers are plastic and won’t hold magnets — try your trunk, doors, or side panels instead. Test a magnet on your car before purchasing. We cannot refund for those that do not check.

Longevity:
While our materials are built to last, extreme weather or improper surface prep can shorten product life.

Duplicates (Mystery/Misprints): Mystery and misprint packs may include duplicates. That’s part of the gamble. Misprints are subject to what is on hand that has been misprinted. If you do not want duplicates, buy a non-misprinted bundle.

Design Ownership:
All designs are original and created for humor/novelty. Parody and satire are protected speech.

No Custom Orders via Notes:
We can’t honor custom requests left in order notes for non-custom products. Please contact us before purchasing.

Stolen or Lost Mail:
Once your package is marked delivered, we unfortunately can’t replace lost or stolen mail. Please ensure your shipping address is correct and secure.