MOVE Idiot, Daddy Need Toilet

A Funny Bumper Sticker for Bladder-Driven Chaos

If you've ever risked a speeding ticket because Taco Bell betrayed you at the worst possible moment, this funny bumper sticker is your new battle flag. "MOVE, IDIOT—DADDY NEED TOILET" isn’t just a cry for help—it’s a declaration of urgency. Of desperation. Of gastrointestinal dominance.

This sticker was forged in the fires of traffic gridlock and restroom roulette. It speaks for every driver who's ever white-knuckled the steering wheel while scanning exit signs like their life depended on it—because it did. Slap this beast on your bumper and let the world know: get out of the way or get caught in the splash zone.

This bumper sticker is more than comedy—it's survival. Whether you're commuting to work, heading home from questionable sushi, or braving highway traffic after an ill-timed latte, this sticker acts as both a warning and a public service announcement. Drivers will know you're on a mission, and they’ll either laugh or get out of your way. Preferably both.

Built for Bathroom Emergencies and Beyond

Crafted at 8.5" x 2.5" in size and made from ultra-durable, weatherproof vinyl, this bumper sticker isn’t going anywhere—even if your bowels are. It’s resistant to rain, UV rays, peeling, fading, and moral judgment. Perfect for cars, laptops, water bottles, or your emergency bathroom survival kit.

Magnet version? Hell yes. Made with a sturdy 20 mil magnetic backing, this thing grips like you’re gripping the steering wheel on the way to the nearest gas station. Upgrade to the 30 mil if you're driving through the frozen hellscape of a Midwestern winter and want to avoid magnet curl. Either way, it stays stuck while your dignity doesn't.

Professionally Printed for Maximum Panic

We don’t mess around with flimsy prints or cheapo vinyl. This sticker is professionally printed on commercial-grade materials, delivering razor-sharp graphics and colors so bold they scream louder than your stomach at 70 mph. No fading. No cracking. No regrets—except maybe that gas station sushi.

Our vinyl and ink are UV-resistant and weatherproof, so this baby stays looking fresh no matter what hellscape you’re driving through. And unlike those knockoff stickers flooding Temu with bad grammar and worse adhesive, ours are built to last.

Two Humans. One Mission. Zero Shame. Funny Bumper Sticker.

We’re Alyssa and Brian—a two-person sticker empire born out of medical bills, poor life choices, and a love for unhinged humor. We’ve sold over 100,000 stickers, hand-packed every order ourselves, and shipped to over 80 retail stores across the country—including Zumiez. We're a small biz with big bathroom energy.

Every order ships in 1–2 days with free U.S. shipping and just $5 global shipping. We don’t use dropshippers or robots. It’s just us, our printer, and whatever chaos you decide to slap on your car.

Got a problem? You’ll hear from us directly. We’re real, we care, and we’re faster than your average digestive emergency.

This sticker also makes the perfect gift—for yourself or your least punctual friend. It’s a conversation starter, a road-rage diffuser, and an instant classic for the unfiltered human experience. Want your car to be remembered in traffic? This’ll do it.

Why You Need This Funny Bumper Sticker:

• Because traffic doesn't understand urgency.

• Because nothing clears a lane like the word "TOILET" in all caps.

• Because you deserve a sticker as dramatic as your bowel schedule.

• Because someone needed to say it. And that someone is Daddy.

FAQ

Can I really put this on my car?
If your car can handle your bathroom habits, it can handle this sticker.

Is the magnet version strong enough?
Strong enough to cling through turbulence. Of the digestive and highway variety.

Do people actually buy this?
Thousands. And those are just the ones who made it in time.

Shop All

Follow us on Instagram

Sizing:
-Rectangular (bumper sticker) designs are approx. 8.5 x 2.5 inches
-Die-cuts are typically 3–4 inches
-Handmade! Sizing may vary slightly.

Materials:
-Premium all-weather vinyl
-Waterproof, smudge-proof, fade-proof, car wash safe
-Apocalypse-resistant

Magnets:
-Standard magnets are 20 mil thick.
-Upgrade to 30 mil - recommended for cold climates or aggressive winds.

Shipping:
-Ships in 1–3 business days from Washington
-We ship worldwide
-Free shipping available. Note that free third-party shipping is only trackable via EasyPost link in shipping confirmation. See Shop FAQs for more.

❗ DISCLAIMERS:

Mockups:
Mockup images are not to scale. May be larger in images for viewability. Colors may vary slightly.

Application Disclaimer:
– We can’t offer refunds for application to textured, plastic, or dirty surfaces, or for poor application practices.
– Frog Mustard products work best on glossy, smooth, clean, dry surfaces.
– Many coolers, kayaks, vehicle cladding, and similar items are made with low surface energy (LSE) plastics, which make it hard for adhesives (even premium vinyl) to bond.
– You assume the risk if you apply to a weird or incompatible surface.

👉 If you're applying to an LSE plastic and love our designs, message us — we’re happy to chat about higher-tack vinyl options for tough surfaces.

💡 For DIY adhesion help, many folks use Mod Podge, 3M Super 77 spray adhesive, or apply a little heat and pressure during application.

Learn more about surface energy and why it matters here:

🔗 3M Guide to Surface Energy & Adhesion

Air Bubbles (Magnets):
Small air bubbles under magnets are normal and usually disappear with time/heat.

Magnet Compatibility:
Many modern car bumpers are plastic and won’t hold magnets — try your trunk, doors, or side panels instead. Test a magnet on your car before purchasing. We cannot refund for those that do not check.

Longevity:
While our materials are built to last, extreme weather or improper surface prep can shorten product life.

Duplicates (Mystery/Misprints): Mystery and misprint packs may include duplicates. That’s part of the gamble. Misprints are subject to what is on hand that has been misprinted. If you do not want duplicates, buy a non-misprinted bundle.

Design Ownership:
All designs are original and created for humor/novelty. Parody and satire are protected speech.

No Custom Orders via Notes:
We can’t honor custom requests left in order notes for non-custom products. Please contact us before purchasing.

Stolen or Lost Mail:
Once your package is marked delivered, we unfortunately can’t replace lost or stolen mail. Please ensure your shipping address is correct and secure.