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The Founding Fathers Were Bottoms
✔ Waterproof, UV-proof vinyl
✔ Ships in 1–2 business days
✔ Orders with 4+ magnets automatically upgraded to parcel tracking
Made in-house by our small U.S. team — no dropshipping, no mystery warehouse.
Description
THE FOUNDING FATHERS WERE BOTTOMS – The Ultimate Political Sticker (Die-Cut Edition) 🇺🇸🍑
Alright, listen up, history buffs and chaos agents. You ever look at the Founding Fathers and think, “Yeah, these guys were definitely not in charge of anything in their personal lives”? Because same. This Political Sticker (Die-Cut Edition) is here to remind the world that the men who wrote the Constitution probably had a very submissive energy. And frankly, the Declaration of Independence reads like a very dramatic breakup letter.
THIS POLITICAL STICKER LETS EVERYONE KNOW YOU SEE THROUGH THE FOUNDERS’ TOUGH EXTERIOR 🇺🇸
This isn’t just a sticker—it’s a historical revelation. The wigs? The frilly shirts? The obsession with writing long, emotional letters about their feelings? Yeah. We’re onto them. If you slap this on your laptop, car, or fridge, be warned: you may cause existential crises among history majors and constitutionalists.
🏆 WHY YOU NEED THIS POLITICAL STICKER:
✅ Premium weatherproof vinyl – Tougher than John Adams trying to argue he was a top. 🔥🍑
✅ UV & water-resistant – Unlike the Founders’ ability to keep their emotions in check, this won’t fade.☀️🌊
✅ Die-cut precision – Designed for maximum historical accuracy.
✅ Strong adhesive backing – Sticks better than Alexander Hamilton stuck to writing dramatic essays.🔥
✅ Easy removal – For when the Federalist Society comes knocking. 😬
WHERE TO FLEX THIS HISTORICAL REWRITE:
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🚗 Your car – Because traffic needs this important historical correction.
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💻 Laptop – Let everyone at the coffee shop know you understand American history on a deeper level.
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🎒 Backpack – Just in case someone needs a spontaneous lesson in Founding Father energy.
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🏛 Your local history museum – For maximum impact.
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📜 Framed next to the Constitution – Because the truth deserves to be seen.
🚨 THE UNDENIABLE TRUTH ABOUT THE FOUNDERS 🚨
This sticker isn’t just for laughs—it’s about acknowledging what the history books won’t tell you. Jefferson? Emotional. Hamilton? Thirsty for validation. Washington? Probably just tired. If we can rewrite history to make them look heroic, we can rewrite it to reflect the truth.
WHO NEEDS THIS STICKER?
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🍑 History buffs with a sense of humor – Because we all know at least one Founding Father had bottom energy.
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🏛 Political science students – Submit this in your next research paper. I dare you.
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😂 Anyone who loves absurd humor – This sticker screams “I appreciate history, but make it spicy.”
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🚗 Drivers who want to confuse everyone behind them – Mission accomplished.
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📜 Anyone who believes in historical accuracy – This is the revisionist history we deserve.
STICKER SPECS:
📏 Die-Cut Shape (Varies by Design)
🛠 Material: Premium waterproof vinyl
☀️ Durability: UV-resistant, scratch-proof, and built to last
📦 Finish: Matte for maximum historical enlightenment aesthetics
💪 Adhesion: Sticks better than Hamilton stuck to writing essays about his enemies
THE FOUNDING FATHERS WERE BOTTOMS. ACCEPT IT.
You thought you were just buying a sticker. Turns out, you were correcting the narrative. Get your Political Sticker (Die-Cut Edition) now and make sure everyone knows: history needs to be re-evaluated. 🇺🇸🍑
You ever read the Federalist Papers and think, “Damn, these guys were really writing emotional essays about their feelings like it was their full-time job”? Yeah.
Imagine: It’s 1776. Alexander Hamilton is pacing the room. He’s got another dramatic essay to write. Jefferson is in the corner, scribbling poetic nonsense about freedom and also probably his crushes. Adams is complaining about something. Washington is done with everyone’s nonsense.
And then—someone suggests war. The room gets quiet. Not because they’re scared. No, no. Because they’re wondering if the British soldiers will call them names.
This sticker is for those who understand the nuance of history. The reality that the Founding Fathers weren’t just revolutionaries—they were messy, dramatic, and 100% fighting over who got to lead the group project.
🚗 Honk all you want, but history is history.
🍑 The Founders would have posted long emotional threads on Twitter.
🔥 If they wrote the Constitution today, it would be in lowercase and unhinged.
Order now and set the record straight.
Anti conservative stickers
Size, Materials & Care
For best results, please review and follow the full care and application instructions included with your order and available on our FAQ page here.
Sizing
- Rectangular bumper stickers are approximately 8.5” x 2.5”
- Die-cut stickers and magnets are typically 3–4”
- Sizing may vary slightly, especially on hand-cut magnet materials
- Mockup images are not to scale and may appear larger for visibility
Materials
- Made with premium all-weather vinyl
- Waterproof, smudge-proof, fade-resistant, and car wash safe (stickers) when properly applied
- Designed for outdoor use on smooth, clean, glossy surfaces
- Apocalypse-resistant, within reason
Magnets
- Standard magnets are 20 mil thick
- 30 mil extra-thick magnets are available and recommended for colder climates
- Magnets only stick to magnetic metal surfaces. Many modern bumpers are plastic, so please test your vehicle before ordering
- Try your trunk, doors, or side panels if your bumper is not magnetic
Basic Care & Application
- Apply only to a clean, dry, smooth, glossy surface
- Clean the surface thoroughly before applying and dry completely
- Avoid textured, plastic, rubberized, dirty, dusty, waxy, or low surface energy surfaces
- For best results, apply in mild temperatures and press firmly across the full design. Do not apply under 45 degrees F
- Wait 24–48 hours before washing your car after applying a sticker to allow the adhesive to bond
- Remove magnets before car washes or extreme weather (snow/extreme winds)
- Clean under magnets periodically to prevent trapped dirt or debris from affecting your paint
Important Surface Disclaimer
Frog Mustard products work best on glossy, smooth, clean, dry surfaces. Many coolers, kayaks, vehicle cladding, and similar items are made with low surface energy plastics, which can make it difficult for adhesives to bond, even with premium vinyl.
We cannot offer refunds for poor application, failed adhesion on textured/plastic/dirty/incompatible surfaces, or magnet incompatibility with non-magnetic vehicle panels. If you’re unsure about your surface, please message us before applying or purchasing.
Rewards
Join Frog Army rewards automatically with your order. Earn Mud Bucks to spend on free stuff.
