Relax Snowflake, it's called DRIVING

Relax, Snowflake, It’s Called Driving Sticker – The Funniest Bumper Sticker for True Road Warriors

The Relax, Snowflake, It’s Called Driving Sticker is for those who know how to handle the road, refuse to apologize for aggressive lane changes, and firmly believe that if you’re in the way, you’re part of the problem. It’s not just bumper stickers—it’s a public service announcement, a warning, and a polite (but firm) way of telling people to toughen up.

🚗 IF YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE HEAT, STAY OUT OF THE LEFT LANE. 🚗

Some people follow every traffic law. Some people drive cautiously, signal early, and obey the speed limit. But you? You’re out here living life the way it was meant to be—fast, unapologetic, and slightly unhinged.

Slap this high-quality vinyl sticker on your car, truck, or directly onto the windshield of someone driving 10 under in the fast lane (for legal reasons, don’t) and let the world know:

🚗 This isn’t a golf cart—get moving.
💨 Turn signals are optional when you have confidence.
🔥 This sticker is waterproof, but your driving record might not be.

And if someone asks, “Wait… is this sticker serious?” Just rev your engine and say, ‘Try and keep up.’

Why Bumper Stickers are a Must-Have

✅ A Perfect Warning for Slowpokes – You’re not here to play games.
✅ 8.5" x 3" of Road Domination – Big enough to be seen, small enough to stay legal.
✅ Premium Weatherproof Vinyl – Waterproof, UV-resistant, and resistant to weak driving habits.
✅ Sticks to Anything – Cars, trucks, motorcycles, and the slow driver in front of you.
✅ A Certified Funny Bumper Sticker – Because passive-aggressive road rage deserves a voice.

Where to Stick Bumper Stickers for Maximum Road Rage Appeal

🚗 Your Car Bumper – So tailgaters understand that you don’t play around.
🏎 Your Rear Windshield – For the people who need to see it most.
💻 Your Laptop – For when you’re arguing about traffic laws online.
🔥 Your Friend’s Car Who Drives Like a Grandpa – They need this.
📦 A Stop Sign (For Legal Reasons, Don’t) – But it would be hilarious.

Why Road Etiquette is for the Strong-Willed

Most drivers:

🛑 Slow down at yellow lights.
🚗 Follow the rules like they’re suggestions from a kindergarten teacher.
🔄 Use roundabouts like they’re unsolvable puzzles.

You?

🔥 Hit the gas when the light turns yellow.
🚀 Merge with confidence, not hesitation.
⚡ Understand that the speed limit is just a starting point.

This bumper sticker isn’t just a joke—it’s a philosophy.

Who Needs Funny Bumper Stickers?

🔥 Sticker Collectors Who Love a Good Road Rage Statement – This belongs in your collection immediately.
🔥 People Who Drive Like They’re in a Car Chase (Legally, Of Course) – You know who you are.
🔥 That One Friend Who Gets Annoyed at Every Other Driver on the Road – Yeah, them.
🔥 Anyone Who Enjoys Watching Strangers React in Traffic – Peak entertainment.
🔥 People Who Just Love Trolling Slow Drivers – Respect.

Sticker Specs – Built for Maximum Driving Confidence

🔥 Size: 8.5" x 3" – Large enough to make nervous drivers sweat.
🔥 Material: Premium vinyl – Waterproof, UV-resistant, and traffic-proof.
🔥 Finish: Glossy – Because dominance should shine.
🔥 Durability: Built to survive rain, road rage, and passive-aggressive honking.

Why You Need Funny Bumper Stickers Immediately

You could be spending your money on boring, responsible things like parking tickets.

OR…

You could be fully embracing your road dominance, making strangers in traffic uncomfortable, and ensuring that everyone around you understands that driving should be an Olympic sport.

The Relax, Snowflake, It’s Called Driving Sticker isn’t just funny bumper stickers. It’s a way of life, a badge of honor, and a reminder that some people just shouldn’t be on the road.

And if someone asks, “Wait… are those bumper stickers directed at me?” Just smirk and say, ‘If the blinker fits…’

How to Assert Road Dominance in 4 Easy Steps

1️⃣ Click ‘Add to Cart’ – Because weak driving has gone unchecked for too long.
2️⃣ Check Out – Fast, easy, and 100% necessary.
3️⃣ Wait for Delivery – We ship fast, unlike your ability to tolerate bad drivers.
4️⃣ Stick It Somewhere Legendary – Then prepare for the inevitable stares.

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Sizing:
-Rectangular (bumper sticker) designs are approx. 8.5 x 2.5 inches
-Die-cuts are typically 3–4 inches
-Handmade! Sizing may vary slightly.

Materials:
-Premium all-weather vinyl
-Waterproof, smudge-proof, fade-proof, car wash safe
-Apocalypse-resistant

Magnets:
-Standard magnets are 20 mil thick.
-Upgrade to 30 mil - recommended for cold climates or aggressive winds.

Shipping:
-Ships in 1–3 business days from Washington
-We ship worldwide
-Free shipping available. Note that free third-party shipping is only trackable via EasyPost link in shipping confirmation. See Shop FAQs for more.

❗ DISCLAIMERS:

Mockups:
Mockup images are not to scale. May be larger in images for viewability. Colors may vary slightly.

Application Disclaimer:
– We can’t offer refunds for application to textured, plastic, or dirty surfaces, or for poor application practices.
– Frog Mustard products work best on glossy, smooth, clean, dry surfaces.
– Many coolers, kayaks, vehicle cladding, and similar items are made with low surface energy (LSE) plastics, which make it hard for adhesives (even premium vinyl) to bond.
– You assume the risk if you apply to a weird or incompatible surface.

👉 If you're applying to an LSE plastic and love our designs, message us — we’re happy to chat about higher-tack vinyl options for tough surfaces.

💡 For DIY adhesion help, many folks use Mod Podge, 3M Super 77 spray adhesive, or apply a little heat and pressure during application.

Learn more about surface energy and why it matters here:

🔗 3M Guide to Surface Energy & Adhesion

Air Bubbles (Magnets):
Small air bubbles under magnets are normal and usually disappear with time/heat.

Magnet Compatibility:
Many modern car bumpers are plastic and won’t hold magnets — try your trunk, doors, or side panels instead. Test a magnet on your car before purchasing. We cannot refund for those that do not check.

Longevity:
While our materials are built to last, extreme weather or improper surface prep can shorten product life.

Duplicates (Mystery/Misprints): Mystery and misprint packs may include duplicates. That’s part of the gamble. Misprints are subject to what is on hand that has been misprinted. If you do not want duplicates, buy a non-misprinted bundle.

Design Ownership:
All designs are original and created for humor/novelty. Parody and satire are protected speech.

No Custom Orders via Notes:
We can’t honor custom requests left in order notes for non-custom products. Please contact us before purchasing.

Stolen or Lost Mail:
Once your package is marked delivered, we unfortunately can’t replace lost or stolen mail. Please ensure your shipping address is correct and secure.