I'm Not Like the Other Girls, I Have Hemorrhoids!
Durable vinyl sticker printed in-house and made for indoor or outdoor use.
✓ Weatherproof, UV-resistant vinyl
✓ Ships in 1–2 business days
✓ Made in-house by our small U.S. team
Description
I’m Not Like the Other Girls, I Have Hemorrhoids Sticker – The Ultimate Vinyl Girl Decal for Unhinged Queens
The I’m Not Like the Other Girls, I Have Hemorrhoids Sticker is for those who embrace their weirdness, know that true individuality is found in medical struggles, and aren’t afraid to share way too much information in the funniest way possible. It’s not just a vinyl girl decal—it’s a personality test, a conversation starter, and a surefire way to make people rethink their life choices while waiting at a stoplight.
QUIRKY? NO. DIFFERENT? YES. IN PAIN? ALWAYS.
Some people say they’re not like the other girls because they read books. Some people claim they’re different because they thrift. But you? You’re built different—because you have hemorrhoids.
Slap this high-quality vinyl sticker on your car, laptop, water bottle, or directly onto your donut-shaped seat cushion and let the world know:
🩸 Yes, I’m unique. No, you don’t want my problems.
🪑 Sitting comfortably? Couldn’t be me.
🩸 Why be mysterious when you can be medically concerning?
And if someone asks, “Wait… do you really have hemorrhoids?” Just sigh deeply and say, ‘You wouldn’t understand.’
Why This Vinyl Girl Decal is a Must-Have
✅ Instantly Separates You from “Other Girls” – Because true individuality comes from suffering.
✅ 8.5" x 3" of Unhinged Feminine Energy – Big enough to confuse, small enough to intrigue.
✅ Premium Weatherproof Vinyl – Waterproof, UV-resistant, and uncomfortable-seat-proof.
✅ Sticks to Anything – Cars, laptops, prescription creams, your proctologist’s office door (for legal reasons, don’t).
✅ A Certified Girl Decal – Because oversharing is the new aesthetic.
Where to Stick This Girl Decal for Maximum Impact
💖 Your Car Bumper – So people behind you immediately regret looking.
🩸 Your Laptop – For when you’re Googling "home remedies" at 3 AM.
💖 Your Water Bottle – Stay hydrated, stay inflamed.
🩸 Your Bathroom Mirror – For daily affirmation purposes.
💖 Your Tinder Profile Pic (For Chaos Reasons Only) – We support it.
Why Being Different Means More Than Just Liking Coffee
Most people:
📚 Think being unique means reading poetry.
🎀 Describe themselves as "not like the other girls" because they like video games.
🚗 Keep their medical history to themselves like “normal” people.
You?
💖 Are redefining what it means to be “quirky.”
🩸 Live in constant discomfort but make it everyone else’s problem.
💖 Will make at least one person Google “hemorrhoids symptoms” after seeing your car.
This girl decal isn’t just a joke—it’s a movement.
Who Needs This inyl Girl Decal?
🔥 Girls Who Are Tired of Being Compared to “Other Girls” – You're built different. Literally.
🔥 Sticker Collectors Who Love the Unhinged & Oversharing – This belongs in your collection immediately.
🔥 That One Friend Who Has No Filter – You know exactly who.
🔥 Anyone Who Thinks Humor is the Best Coping Mechanism – Laughter is the best medicine, but you should still see a doctor.
🔥 People Who Live for Making Strangers Uncomfortable – Mission accomplished.
Sticker Specs – Built for Maximum Uncomfortable Conversations
🔥 Size: 8.5" x 3" – Large enough to be read, small enough to still be a mystery.
🔥 Material: Premium vinyl – Waterproof, UV-resistant, and built for chaos.
🔥 Finish: Glossy – Because your struggles should shine.
🔥 Durability: Built to survive rain, doctor’s appointments, and awkward first dates.
Why You Need This Vinyl Girl Decal Immediately
You could be spending your money on boring, responsible things like fiber supplements.
OR…
You could be fully embracing your unhinged side and letting everyone know that you are, in fact, NOT like the other girls—and you have the medical records to prove it.
The I’m Not Like the Other Girls, I Have Hemorrhoids Sticker isn’t just a funny bumper sticker. It’s a declaration, a medical red flag, and a guaranteed way to make your passengers question why they got in your car.
And if someone asks, “But why do you need a sticker for that?” Just stare at them and say, ‘Because no one else will talk about it.’
How to Make People Laugh and Worry at the Same Time in 4 Easy Steps
1️⃣ Click ‘Add to Cart’ – Because your pain deserves to be seen.
2️⃣ Check Out – Fast, easy, and slightly concerning.
3️⃣ Wait for Delivery – We ship fast, but your discomfort lasts forever.
4️⃣ Stick It Somewhere Legendary – Then sit (or try to, at least) and enjoy.
Size, Materials & Care
For best results, please review and follow the full care and application instructions included with your order and available on our FAQ page here.
Sizing
- Rectangular bumper stickers are approximately 8.5 × 2.5 inches.
- Die-cut stickers and magnets are typically 3–4 inches.
- Sizing may vary slightly, especially on hand-cut magnet materials.
- Mockup images are not to scale and may appear larger for visibility.
Materials
- Made with premium all-weather vinyl.
- Stickers are waterproof, smudge-proof, fade-resistant and car-wash safe when properly applied.
- Designed for outdoor use on smooth, clean, glossy surfaces.
- Apocalypse-resistant, within reason.
Magnets
- Standard magnets are 20 mil thick.
- 30 mil extra-thick magnets are available and recommended for colder climates.
- Magnets only stick to magnetic metal surfaces.
- Many modern bumpers are plastic, so please test your vehicle before ordering.
- Try your trunk, doors or side panels if your bumper is not magnetic.
Basic Care & Application
- Apply only to a clean, dry, smooth, glossy surface.
- Clean the surface thoroughly before applying and allow it to dry completely.
- Avoid textured, plastic, rubberized, dirty, dusty, waxy or low-surface-energy surfaces.
- For best results, apply in mild temperatures and press firmly across the full design.
- Do not apply below 45°F.
- Wait 24–48 hours before washing your car after applying a sticker so the adhesive can bond.
- Remove magnets before car washes or extreme weather, including snow and high winds.
- Clean beneath magnets periodically to prevent trapped dirt or debris from affecting your paint.
Important Surface Disclaimer
Frog Mustard products work best on glossy, smooth, clean and dry surfaces. Many coolers, kayaks, vehicle cladding and similar items are made with low-surface-energy plastics, which can make it difficult for adhesives to bond—even when using premium vinyl.
We cannot offer refunds for poor application, failed adhesion on textured, plastic, dirty or otherwise incompatible surfaces, or magnet incompatibility with non-magnetic vehicle panels. Please message us before applying or purchasing if you are unsure whether your surface is compatible.