Honk Bottom Text

Honk. Bottom Text. – Cursed Emoji Bumper Sticker

The Bumper Sticker Your Therapist Begged You Not to Buy

You’ve seen it in the deepest corners of the internet. A cursed emoji standing bare-assed like it just got caught exiting a Chili’s too fast. The phrase? Simple: “Honk. Bottom Text.”

This weatherproof bumper sticker (or magnet, if you're weak and afraid of commitment) is 8.5" x 2.5" of pure chaos energy. It's designed for people who have no interest in making sense and every interest in making people uncomfortable at intersections.

This is not just a sticker. It’s a glitch in the matrix.

🍑 What Is Bottom Text and Why Are You Screaming Honk?

“Bottom text” is the final evolution of meme decay. It’s the phrase you use when you gave up trying to be funny but still needed something at the bottom of your Impact-font masterpiece. It’s not ironic. It’s not sincere. It just is.

Combine that with a cursed emoji—a butt-forward abomination that looks like it was rejected from iOS for psychological damage—and you get a bumper sticker that dares to ask, “What if your car was a war crime?”

🛠️ Sticker Specs That Belong in a Museum (for Bad Decisions)

• Size: 8.5 inches x 2.5 inches – weirdly bold, weirdly long

• Material: Commercially printed, weatherproof vinyl – because chaos should last

• Finish: Smooth semi-gloss for maximum “why?” factor

• Options:

  • Sticker: Permanent like your mistakes

  • Magnet (20 mil): Removable for when your grandma borrows the car

  • Magnet Upgrade (30 mil): For cold climates where even your decals need a therapist

💀 Who Is This Bumper Sticker For?

• The terminally online

• People who laugh at memes with 15 pixels and 300 layers of JPEG compression

• Drivers who want everyone behind them to rethink their lives

• You. If you’re still reading this, it’s already in your cart emotionally.

📊 Reasons to Buy This Cursed Emoji Bumper Sticker

• You’re done making sense.
  We all had our serious sticker phase. It’s over. You’ve evolved into someone who communicates via digital bathroom wall.

• You want to confuse and enrage.
  Nothing screams “I live in a lawless void” like driving around with “Honk. Bottom Text.” on your bumper while a pixelated emoji exposes itself.

• It’s a warning.
  Not for you—for everyone else.

• You’re supporting a small business run by two unhinged humans who love chaos and car decals.

🧲 Magnet vs. Sticker – Choose Your Flavor of Mental Decline

Sticker Version:

• Applies forever. Like trauma.

• Good for bumpers, laptops, water bottles, cursed altars

Magnet (20 mil):

• Removable, just like your last shred of dignity

• Great if your car pulls double duty as your grandma’s Sunday ride

Magnet Upgrade (30 mil):

• Weatherproofed for frozen hellscapes

• Holds tight like intrusive thoughts

Note: Most bumpers are plastic. Try your trunk, door, or fridge. Test with a regular magnet first unless you enjoy yelling at inanimate objects.

🧼 Installation Tips for the Spiritually Dehydrated

Sticker:

1. Clean your surface. (Don’t skip this, gremlin.)

2. Peel and slap it on. Apply pressure like you’re pretending everything’s fine.

3. Avoid cold temps during application. Or don’t. You do you.

Magnet:

1. Place it on clean, flat metal.

2. Don’t try to make it stick to your Tesla. Elon's not helping you.

3. Remove and clean every few weeks to avoid rust rings and government surveillance.

🧠 FAQ – Bottom Text Edition

Q: Is the cursed emoji actually copyrighted?
A: We don’t know. And we don’t want to.

Q: Will this bottom text bumper sticker last in the rain?
A: Oh yeah. Weatherproof, sunproof, shameproof.

Q: Will this sticker make people honk at me?
A: Probably. And every honk is earned.

Q: Can I use this to ward off energy vampires and pyramid scheme recruiters?
A: We’d be shocked if it didn’t.

Q: What if I regret it?
A: You won’t. But that’s cute.

💬 Final Thoughts from the Internet’s Basement

You’re not here for a tasteful decal. You’re here to weaponize your bumper.
You want people to stare into the vinyl abyss and question their digital footprint.

With “Honk. Bottom Text.” and a cursed emoji no corporate keyboard would dare approve, you’re creating chaos with precision.

You’re not advertising. You’re issuing a challenge.
So go ahead—be the reason someone drives home in silence.

Buy it. Slap it. Honk if you understand.
(But you won’t. And that’s the point.)

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Sizing:
-Rectangular (bumper sticker) designs are approx. 8.5 x 2.5 inches
-Die-cuts are typically 3–4 inches
-Handmade! Sizing may vary slightly.

Materials:
-Premium all-weather vinyl
-Waterproof, smudge-proof, fade-proof, car wash safe
-Apocalypse-resistant

Magnets:
-Standard magnets are 20 mil thick.
-Upgrade to 30 mil - recommended for cold climates or aggressive winds.

Shipping:
-Ships in 1–3 business days from Washington
-We ship worldwide
-Free shipping available. Note that free third-party shipping is only trackable via EasyPost link in shipping confirmation. See Shop FAQs for more.

❗ DISCLAIMERS:

Mockups:
Mockup images are not to scale. May be larger in images for viewability. Colors may vary slightly.

Application Disclaimer:
– We can’t offer refunds for application to textured, plastic, or dirty surfaces, or for poor application practices.
– Frog Mustard products work best on glossy, smooth, clean, dry surfaces.
– Many coolers, kayaks, vehicle cladding, and similar items are made with low surface energy (LSE) plastics, which make it hard for adhesives (even premium vinyl) to bond.
– You assume the risk if you apply to a weird or incompatible surface.

👉 If you're applying to an LSE plastic and love our designs, message us — we’re happy to chat about higher-tack vinyl options for tough surfaces.

💡 For DIY adhesion help, many folks use Mod Podge, 3M Super 77 spray adhesive, or apply a little heat and pressure during application.

Learn more about surface energy and why it matters here:

🔗 3M Guide to Surface Energy & Adhesion

Air Bubbles (Magnets):
Small air bubbles under magnets are normal and usually disappear with time/heat.

Magnet Compatibility:
Many modern car bumpers are plastic and won’t hold magnets — try your trunk, doors, or side panels instead. Test a magnet on your car before purchasing. We cannot refund for those that do not check.

Longevity:
While our materials are built to last, extreme weather or improper surface prep can shorten product life.

Duplicates (Mystery/Misprints): Mystery and misprint packs may include duplicates. That’s part of the gamble. Misprints are subject to what is on hand that has been misprinted. If you do not want duplicates, buy a non-misprinted bundle.

Design Ownership:
All designs are original and created for humor/novelty. Parody and satire are protected speech.

No Custom Orders via Notes:
We can’t honor custom requests left in order notes for non-custom products. Please contact us before purchasing.

Stolen or Lost Mail:
Once your package is marked delivered, we unfortunately can’t replace lost or stolen mail. Please ensure your shipping address is correct and secure.