It's Only a Gambling "Problem" When I'm Losing

Looking for a meme sticker that perfectly captures your questionable financial decisions? Congratulations, you've found your people. 🎰

WHY THIS MASTERPIECE HITS:

• Size: 8.5" x 2.5" of pure copium
• Choose your bet: Weatherproof vinyl or magnetic format
• More durable than your bankroll
• UV-resistant (unlike your credit score)
• Perfect for hiding the repo man's marks

MAGNETIC OPTION: For those who like to switch positions (like your portfolio):

• Industrial-strength grip (stronger than your will to stop)
• Available in standard or 30mil thickness for cold climates
• Removable faster than your savings
• Perfect for when you need to look "responsible" to the bank

VINYL OPTION: For those going all in:

• Premium weatherproof vinyl that lasts longer than your hot streak
• Professional-grade adhesive that sticks better than your bookie
• UV-resistant because some losses should be permanent

WHO NEEDS THIS? YOU DO, IF:

• You consider "double or nothing" financial advice
• Your retirement plan is "one more hand"
• You've ever said "I'm due for a win"
• Your favorite numbers are "all in"
• You think WSB is financial literacy
• Your spouse doesn't need to know everything

QUALITY THAT BEATS THE HOUSE: Each Frog Mustard meme sticker is:

• Made with premium materials (unlike your life choices)
• Printed with high-resolution detail (sharper than your poker face)
• Quality checked by fellow degenerates
• Packaged with care (and a gambling addiction hotline number)

REAL REVIEWS FROM REAL PLAYERS:

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ "Put this on my car right before the repo man came. He laughed so hard he gave me an extra day." - Mike D.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ "My financial advisor saw this and fired me. Fair enough." - Jessica R.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ "Bought this with my winnings. Now it's the only thing I own." - Kyle T.

⭐⭐⭐⭐ "Wife didn't think it was funny. Boyfriend loved it." - Chad M.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ "Perfect for the Wendy's dumpster meetups" - WSB Steve

WARNING: Side effects may include:

• Uncontrollable urge to explain probability theory to strangers
• Developing a mysterious cough when passing ATMs
• Referring to your children's college fund as "seed money"
• Finding yourself in first-name basis with casino staff
• Explaining to people that you're "actually up overall"
• Sudden expertise in sports you've never watched

TECHNICAL SPECS FOR DEGENS:

• Dimensions: 8.5" x 2.5" (bigger than your chances of breaking even)
• Material: Premium vinyl or industrial-grade magnet
• Durability: Outlasts your bankroll
• Cope level: Maximum

THE DEGEN DICTIONARY (INCLUDED FREE):

• "Investment Strategy" = Throwing money at random things
• "Research" = Looking at rocket emojis on Reddit
• "Day Trading" = Gambling with extra steps
• "Diamond Hands" = Can't sell because you're down 99%
• "Technical Analysis" = Astrology for gamblers
• "Risk Management" = Concept unknown

THE FROG MUSTARD GUARANTEE: We stand behind our products like you stand behind your "foolproof system." If your meme sticker doesn't meet expectations, we'll make it right (unlike your bookie).

RESPONSIBLE GAMBLING DISCLAIMER: This meme sticker is intended for entertainment purposes only. If you relate too hard to this product, maybe it's time for a chat with someone professional. Not financial advice. Or life advice. Or any kind of advice really.

Remember: Life is a casino, and this meme sticker is your VIP pass to embracing the chaos.

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PLACES TO PROUDLY DISPLAY THIS MEME STICKER:

• Outside your favorite casino (until they ask you to leave)
• The parking lot of your former financial advisor
• Your backup car (because the main one is... temporarily unavailable)
• Your wife's boyfriend's Tesla
• The local payday loan office
• Outside Gamblers Anonymous (power move)
• Your court-appointed therapist's office
• The bank that denied your loan
• Your parent's house (they've given up anyway)
• Anywhere except your kids' school pickup line

THE DEGEN'S DAILY AFFIRMATIONS:

• "Red days are just discounted buying opportunities"
• "Sleep is for people who don't have positions in Asian markets"
• "Money isn't real anyway"
• "It's not a loss until you sell"
• "The market is manipulated (but only when I lose)"
• "Warren Buffett started somewhere too"
• "Sir, this is a casino"
• "Leverage is just spicy money"
• "Behind every great fortune is a great crime (or meme stock)"
• "YOLO isn't just a saying, it's a lifestyle"

EVOLUTION OF A DEGEN (SPIRIT ANIMAL EDITION): 🐥 Level 1: Scratch-off Rookie

• Still believes in bankroll management
• Only gambles on birthdays
• Thinks sports betting requires skill

🦊 Level 2: Fantasy Sports Expert

• "I'm not gambling, I'm analyzing statistics"
• Has 17 different betting apps
• Knows exactly how much is in their 401k (tempting)

🦅 Level 3: Options Trader

• Discovered leverage
• Understands Greek letters (not really)
• "It's basically free money"

🦍 Level 4: Diamond Hands

• Portfolio down 97%
• "I'm in it for the technology"
• Still won't sell

🐋 Level 5: Enlightened Degen (You Are Here)

• Embraces the chaos
• Loves the pain
• Proudly displays this meme sticker

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS:

Q: Is this meme sticker tax deductible? A: Like your gambling losses, you can try, but we don't recommend it.

Q: Will this sticker bring me luck? A: If you believe in luck, you're already our target audience.

Q: Can I pay for this in crypto? A: Sir, we may be degenerates, but we still need real money.

Q: Does this come with financial advice? A: The only advice we give is "This is not financial advice."

Q: Will this sticker help me stop gambling? A: If anything, it might make it worse. But at least you'll look cool doing it.

#DEGENSUNITE #HOUSEALWAYSWINS #FROGMUSTARD #COPIUM

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Sizing:
-Rectangular (bumper sticker) designs are approx. 8.5 x 2.5 inches
-Die-cuts are typically 3–4 inches
-Handmade! Sizing may vary slightly.

Materials:
-Premium all-weather vinyl
-Waterproof, smudge-proof, fade-proof, car wash safe
-Apocalypse-resistant

Magnets:
-Standard magnets are 20 mil thick.
-Upgrade to 30 mil - recommended for cold climates or aggressive winds.

Shipping:
-Ships in 1–3 business days from Washington
-We ship worldwide
-Free shipping available. Note that free third-party shipping is only trackable via EasyPost link in shipping confirmation. See Shop FAQs for more.

❗ DISCLAIMERS:

Mockups:
Mockup images are not to scale. May be larger in images for viewability. Colors may vary slightly.

Application Disclaimer:
– We can’t offer refunds for application to textured, plastic, or dirty surfaces, or for poor application practices.
– Frog Mustard products work best on glossy, smooth, clean, dry surfaces.
– Many coolers, kayaks, vehicle cladding, and similar items are made with low surface energy (LSE) plastics, which make it hard for adhesives (even premium vinyl) to bond.
– You assume the risk if you apply to a weird or incompatible surface.

👉 If you're applying to an LSE plastic and love our designs, message us — we’re happy to chat about higher-tack vinyl options for tough surfaces.

💡 For DIY adhesion help, many folks use Mod Podge, 3M Super 77 spray adhesive, or apply a little heat and pressure during application.

Learn more about surface energy and why it matters here:

🔗 3M Guide to Surface Energy & Adhesion

Air Bubbles (Magnets):
Small air bubbles under magnets are normal and usually disappear with time/heat.

Magnet Compatibility:
Many modern car bumpers are plastic and won’t hold magnets — try your trunk, doors, or side panels instead. Test a magnet on your car before purchasing. We cannot refund for those that do not check.

Longevity:
While our materials are built to last, extreme weather or improper surface prep can shorten product life.

Duplicates (Mystery/Misprints): Mystery and misprint packs may include duplicates. That’s part of the gamble. Misprints are subject to what is on hand that has been misprinted. If you do not want duplicates, buy a non-misprinted bundle.

Design Ownership:
All designs are original and created for humor/novelty. Parody and satire are protected speech.

No Custom Orders via Notes:
We can’t honor custom requests left in order notes for non-custom products. Please contact us before purchasing.

Stolen or Lost Mail:
Once your package is marked delivered, we unfortunately can’t replace lost or stolen mail. Please ensure your shipping address is correct and secure.